I had written this line to you months ago and it still holds true to this day. I was talking about a project that had been offered to me, that of writing and illustrating a book which got me all excited and stressed to death.
Since then, I often get mails asking when the book would come out. I smile in response. And tell myself that when the time comes, I’ll talk about it once and for all.
Cette phrase, je vous l’avais écrite il y a quelques mois. J’y parlais d’un projet que l’on m’avait proposé, qui m’emballait et me stressait à mort, celui d’écrire et d’illustrer un livre. Cette phrase, elle est aujourd’hui encore si vraie.
Depuis, je reçois souvent des mails qui me demandent quand mon livre va sortir. Je souris. Et je me dis qu’il serait quand même temps que j’en parle, une fois pour toutes.
It’s funny how sometimes things don’t work out right.
Well, this book won’t be happening. Don’t get me wrong, though. I did work on it. I did my research, worried about it, believed I had something going on…even had great moments of inspiration.
Above all, I read and re-read my work, yet, in all honesty, I never found it good enough. There were times when it put me in a pretty miserable state.
I went here, there and all around. I showed them to close relatives and friends and asked for their opinions.
They believed I could do this thing, whatever the odds. That’s how it is with loved ones. They love you so much that they always have faith in you.
And there were those who told me that it was my chance and I should grab it. Opportunities, such as this one, are few and far between.
So I figured I must face the facts alone. We don’t come out with a book just for the heck of it, or to grab an opportunity. We don’t write a book because everybody wants to accomplish that kind of goal. I looked at myself in the mirror, cried a good deal and told myself that this wasn’t the time.
I wasn’t alone in this project. I phoned my editor. It was terrible, like a nasty break-up. A failure.
I had been on edge for months. Yet, the second after I told him, I could breathe again. I knew I made a good decision.
So there goes my explanation. I know this will come as a disappointment to some of you. I’m truly sorry but if it’s any consolation, I’m all right.
Looking back, I know I won’t be happy having a book that I’m not proud of, just so I can reap the rewards it may bring.
I have lots of ideas and who knows, a book might one day be realized. I just wish to write it with joy in my heart because that’s how I love to get things rolling. And I hope it shows.
In the meantime, my joy is quite simple and it’s right here.
Translation : Magali Eva Suárez.