I know, I know, you’re not here. You are all on vacation* stuffing yourselves with chocolate while I’m at home sorting through things, sipping green tea and sitting in lotus position in the middle of:

- An Empire State Building of magazines that I have yet to file. I’m incapable of throwing magazines away before having re-read/catalogued/torn them apart: it drives me crazy. Last time, I even hid the contents of the super-heavy boxes away from my friends who were helping me move—it wasn’t AT ALL Nietzsche. It was my old collection of The Face, I.D, 20 years and Vogue that have followed me everywhere since always. Sorry about your back, Alex.

- A Himalayan mountain chain of clothes that have yet to pass the fashion inspection. Did I really need to buy this Hawaiian-print jumper? Will I wear these Chloe babies before 2023? What fate will befall this bubble skirt? Today is the day these questions will be answered. Aloha patent ballerinas!

- A Tower of Babel worth of makeup to inspect. So, 652 glosses, 78 nail polishes and 370 plumping, lengthening, volumizing, fortifying, vibrating mascaras that have all promised to change the life of my eyes, thus the life of my life. And if I have the time, I’ll clean my brushes, call my aunt, wash my curtains, answer all of my emails and I’ll, I’ll…

You now see the reason behind the lotus position and the green tea: it’s to force me to stay zen. Because if this goes the way it does every time, by tonight I’ll still be here, sprawled out in the middle of my stuff, dressed in my Aloha jumper and my Chloe babies over my bubble skirt, with lip-gloss on my eyes and tubes of mascara neatly tucked behind my ears, because it’s important to try things on before you decide, surrounded by tons of magazine clippings still waiting to be organized. A friend will call asking where I am because our reservations were for 8 o’clock, and I’ll abandon the mess in the living room…

Anyway, if by chance you are here and not in the process of stuffing yourselves with chocolate (big mistake!) you can go take a look at my column in Vogue. I published Mélinda and Masha’s Une Fille, Un Style, two wonderful girls who have about as many overstocked clothing problems as I do…But who doesn’t, right?

I send you all my love and wish you all a peaceful Easter Monday!

* in Europe, everyone gets Easter Monday off from work

Translation : Maya-Catherine Popa