“No because, you see, if there’s one thing I’ve come to understand, it’s that the thing to do right now is not to match.”

“YES exactly! Definitely not. And, you know what? It’s really not an easy thing to do.”

“Absolutely! When I wear my red shoes, if I don’t at the very least wear a red scarf, I feel uncomfortable all day long. Once I even went home to change.”

“ME TOO! You think it’s easy being well mismatched? Look, last time, I put on a white t-shirt with boyfriend pants. I thought that my gold boots would be just enough to bring a feminine twist to this ocean of menswear. I put on the boots, they’re cool, and then, my hands automatically steered towards my scarves, as though they were being telecommanded: they caught my gold scarf, and without wanting or planning to, all of a sudden I was matchy-matchy. It sucks! I can’t even tell you the psychological battle I had with myself to remove the scarf.

“It’s literally unconscious! But I know where it comes from. From my mother. I vividly remember her telling me in her little voice: “Oh, that’s beautiful, it’s WELL MATCHED !” I’ll admit that, sometimes, I’m even a little proud when my underwear matches my bag. It gives me a feeling of fullness, like a domestic orgasm à la Bree Van de Kamp…Ridiculous.”

“THERE! There’s an idea! From now on, whenever the urge to match is too great, I’ll just resort to my undergarments. Awesome! Um…Yeah. You wouldn’t by any chance know where I could find gold underwear?”

Translation : Maya-Catherine Popa