My only break during the ultra glam week that I just had on my sofa working like a slave (= freelance)…

I’m drawing on my couch and writing on my bed, despite the fact that Loïc Prigent forbid me from ever working on my bed. No eating, no working, and no watching TV in bed if you want a happy, healthy life. And here is exactly why, despite the fact that I got a T-shirt at the 10th anniversary party that had I am Loïc Prigent written on it, here’s why I’ll never live a life as happy and healthy as Loïc Prigent.

… was to head over to my newsman and get every magazine ever created. And then delightedly turning…

In my state of all-work-and-no-play that I found myself in — stuck to my computer as the night grew darker, if you would have put the new 20 ans* in front of me, I would have yelped with pleasure.

… The pages of Grazia, I saw the slow rise of a new disturbing trend. I’d seen it before, but chose to ignore it as a minor little baby trend that wouldn’t even deserve a slight mention in a post. Pffffu!
And this minor trend in question doesn’t go AT ALL with the current blooming state of my body.

EUPHEMISM !!! —> Thanks to my recent trips, I’ve taken on a few absolutely terrible habits resulting in a certain stoutness that’s very Elle Special: Clothes for every body type :
- 1/ Breakfast at Starbucks (= scale suicide)
- 2/ NEVER having a meal at my own house, too much stuff to do and business lunches. My oven is in Carrie Bradshaw mode, soon it’ll be a new shoe cabinet. Poor me. It’s the exactly opposite of a well-balanced life, you know?
- 3/Except I don’t spend 3 hours at the gym every day.

—-> Loïc would be so mad at me.

… The trend in question, cropped tops. A t-shirt, or maybe a short sweater, that totally 90s trend, remember when you couldn’t go outside without seeing a whole bunch of belly buttons peaking right at you?

Does this thing have a name? In Grazia, it says mini-sweater. So then it’s a mini t-shirt? And who makes up these names up anyway? Where is the high-mistress of trend naming and how do I talk to her?!

Ohhhh man, it definitely hurts my ego. It’s not that I love this trend…. no no no, I really don’t love it. BUT I LIKE IT FINE. And now with my recently acquired voluptuous curves…

EUPHEMISM !!! —> The only break I had during my trip to Arizona was an hour in the pool in my bathing suit from last year. AND NO JOKE IT WAS SUPER TIGHT ON ME but really now c’mon. The result was that I stayed in the deep end and right after, oh! toss me that towel QUICK! I went straight back to work, oddly relieved.
—> Complexes can ruin the best moments.

So with my recently acquired curves, it’s simply UNTHINKABLE. And here I am, almost finished with all this work that is keeping me stuck to my computer night and day…

Deadline tonight! The word deadline has never lived up to its name so well. I. am. dead.

… and still I really want to go shopping, to dive head first into fashion — and why not!?!? Who cares!? Let’s go out and buy a mini t-shirt, some mini shorts, or let’s go crazy and even buy a bathing suit that won’t cause lonesome tears in the dressing rooms.

Hey, we can always dream, can’t we? Yes, but no. It’s not a dream we need, but action. Okay, diet time. Take the shoes out of the oven and get the quinoa back out! Au revoir cookies. Bonjour carrots. Hello hiphop (yep!), first train to summer woooop wooooop!

Okay, now that I’ve put 15 posts into one, STARTED WRITING IN CAPITALS FOR NO REASON or in all small just because and REALLY talking about NOTHING AT ALL… I think that it means I should probably head out of the house. You think so?

Translation : Tim Sullivan

* Translator’s note : One of the best things about living in France is all of the wonderful fashion magazines. That said, for those of you who don’t know it, 20 ans might be the worst I’ve ever read.