You have no idea how hard it is to write about fashion! It’s hell!

Not only are the terms just as seasonal as the clothes we don’t want anymore at the end of the summer, but new trends, materials, and cuts appear every three days and demand their rights: to be named!

So you’d better not let an outdated word cross your lips, ok? It’s 30 times worse than if you’re wearing a pair of last season’s Zanotti. You’ll get furtive looks and awkward smiles, and you can only hope to save yourself with an “Oh, you know, I was just feeling so 2008 today!”

In the last two paragraphs alone, I must have used, oh… at least half a dozen of them. And I pay attention to these things!

That’s why I busted up laughing the day when my friend Violaine, who’s just started the gorgeous magazine Velour, told me that she had a list of words that were banished from the magazine.

BANISHED! And you thought high heels were oppressive!?

So anyway, we were both dying laughing walking along the streets of New York, and I ask her: “Ok, so will you send me the list? So I can put it in my blog?”

Yep. And just like the thing in fashion people that I like where they take silly things completely seriously without taking their silliness seriously (did you get all that?) she, with her characteristic generosity (I really love that Violaine), sent it to me.

So here’s the list, with comments. It’s in English, but since fashion is a permanent linguistic mish mash, and since I was the first to express myself in sketchy Franglish, I figured that if there was a place to do it, this blog would be it.

SO:

+ Trendy: In France, in addition to trendy, we have tendance, the most used word in fashion. I can’t take it anymore!
Fashionista: Ooh, so right! Get rid of it! Along with recessionista! And everything else that ends in -ista!
+ Designer ‘being used to describe branded clothing‘ (Like: This cape is so Phoebe Philo). Oh, I don’t know, that doesn’t bother me too much really. Does it bother you guys? Violaine, why don’t you like it?
+ Vintage / Retro: This is ok with me. I like these two words. We’re not supposed to say them anymore?
+ Must have: Yeah, ok, because really, must-haves are supposed to be over. Just ask Miss Philo. I must have talked about her clogs and bags at least 2 million times this season. The must-have is here MORE THAN EVER, but we’re not allowed to say it out loud anymore. That’s called recessionypocrisy! (Voilà! I invented a word! I am a wordista!)
+ Celeb : Oh definitely yes, let’s get rid of that.
+ ‘in’: DEFINITELY YES, unless you’re humming the Gainsbourg song.
+ LBD: You know what that means, huh? In French, we’d say PRN. But we’re too cool to reduce PRN to three initials. Plus, that makes it seem like a medical term or something, don’t you think?
+ Style icon: Oh yeah. We’ve used the word icon so much we don’t even know what it means anymore. A pair of shoes can be called an icon these days. Everything is an icon.
+ Funky: Oh my god, Violaine, don’t tell me there are still people that use this word!!!

And I’ve got a few of my own to add to the list:

+ “It” thing (it-bag, it girl, it-shoes) (What? I said that yesterday?) (Moi? I don’t think so. Prove it!)

Conclusion :
#1: Fashion constraints apply not only to our clothes and bodies, but also to our minds.
#2: But of course, as everybody knows: no pain no pleasure!
#3: And that’s why fashion is funky!

And believe it or not, that’s only a tiny part of the list! There are tons more! I’m telling you, writing about fashion is hell!

BECAUSE HEY, I’M SUPPOSED TO REPLACE ALL THESE WORDS WITH WHAT NOW?

PS : Don’t hesitate to add some of your own if you’ve got any ideas! I’ll make a new list and publish it. For the moment we have “stiletto” : SO RIGHT !

Translation : Andrea Perdue