Kids, I’m totally becoming a fashion pro. Get this :
Saturday, in the middle of August, sauna-esque heat in New York, there I am, Gaga, heading out for a winter shopping mission.

So I’ll stop you right there. All the girls I take photos of during fashion weeks are gonna say, “Well, what’s the big deal? That’s normal as can be. You’re even a little late little one!”

Still, it’s hard for me to consider it normal to get to buy a wool jacket, cashmere pants and an angora scarf on the 28th of August. But I came across Dianna at Barneys who showed the big wool winter coat and the furry shoes she’d just bought and I finally gave in. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe this is the perfect time to buy a fur hat, you never know.

And I need a snowboard too. It’s definitely time to order my snowboard for February.

Okay… So back to me in huntress mode. Up to the fifth floor at Barney’s, Stella McCartney, finally, ah, awesome. I love her collection. I see the coolest parka, perfect for a snowy January. I try it on, oh goodness, it’s so beautiful, and then the salesgirl corners me and says :

“JUST SO YOU KNOW, THAT PARKA IS THE ONLY ONE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. And we have it because (and yeah, I stopped being able to understand her here, she was talking so fast, so here’s what I imagined she said to me) – Stella knew that you were coming today and she designed it just for you – and so that’s why we’re the only people in the world to have one and it’s the last one, IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.”

Whoa. How cool is that? The only one, IN THE WORLD. But as Scott wasn’t quite convinced by the salesgirl he told me Garance, look, if it really was made just for you, come back in three days and it’ll be here waiting for you. I listened to him because honestly, he’s a really smart guy and the parka was really close to $2,000.

So we continued our little journey down Madison Ave, following intently my little list of to-buys that I concocted – First time in my life I’ve ever done that. But now I have this new fear of waiting until it’s cold to buy a coat and then hear the salesgirls all laugh at me saying, A coat? In September. We don’t have any more of those since August, ahahah*!

On my list, there were some pointy ballet slippers… with studs, from Valentino. Kids, if you haven’t been living under a rock, then I’m sure you haven’t missed them. They’re in all the magazines, ALL OF THEM. So I went to Valentino and asked for them, and this is what I got:

The ballet slippers? The ones in all the editorials? Ahahah*, they haven’t gotten here yet, and we’ve already got a waiting-list longer than you can ever imagine.

Ah yes, I forgot. Get it published in a magazine and sales go through the roof.

Pfffff. To console myself, I stopped at Intermix, a New York multi-brand shop. I saw an entire section of Stella McCartney and, you’re not going to believe me, but I’m not kidding here :

Three other parkas just like my parka that couldn’t be found anywhere else IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.

I let out a yelp, I grabbed it and then poof! No longer did I have any desire to buy it. The fact that it wasn’t at all unique (but what was that salesgirl at Barney’s thinking?)(Wait… Maybe she WASN’T a salesgirl at Barney’s… Ouuuh, craaazyyy.) made it – almost – a little dull.

And there you have it! I tried to get myself together and become a killer fashion pro, but I’m still trapped in the endless cycle of supply and demand. Scott winked at me.

Ahahah*! I still have many miles to go before I’m a fashion pro.

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PS 1 (No, not the bag. You’re all obsessed.) = This post has no rhyme or reason, at the beginning, I wanted to give you my point of view on the back to school trends, but yeah, maybe next time…

PS 2 = Don’t worry, I got a lot of pretty things. 80% of them I won’t be able to put on before November, but they’re pretty none the less, and all lined up nicely in my closet. You could even say it looks like a shop — a little chaotic, the shop.

PS 3 = New York Zara is terrible. It’s hard to get over it’s European cousin. And harder on my wallet, too, seeing as I have to live with Chloé now. Pfff! Depressing…

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* Ahahah ! Stupid bitch.