So I was gettin’ drunk having a drink with Emily at the Jane Hotel, and we got to talking about life philosophies and all, just as any normal person would after two vodka-tonics (after the third, we move on to sex)(no, not with Emily, just that the conversation turns to sex)(Wouldn’t yours?) when I asked her,
“Ah wait wait wait, you’re talking all philosophical about life… I’m right in the middle of The Power of Now !!!”
“No way. You read stuff like that? You? Naaaaaa.”
“Yeah, okay, I downloaded it onto my iPad. Trashy lit on iPad, not as bad as real paperbacks, right? They practically don’t even exist. They don’t embarrass you sitting on the shelf, no one sees them, so yeah, they don’t count. You could read exclusively chick lit on the iPad and no one would be the wiser.”
Emily : “Aaaaaah yeah okay. It’s like renting a terrible movie on a rainy day! It just doesn’t count.”
Me : “Yeah for sure, it’s like when you eat some dessert off your friend’s plate. Still totally diet safe. It doesn’t count. Or if you eat organic, no weight gain possible. Totally statement of fact. Everyone knows it.
Emily : “Exactly, it’s like kissing a guy who’s going to be traveling far far far away the next day. It doesn’t count, like seriously, not AT ALL. It’s like nothing ever happened.”
Me : “Pffffahaha ! Or when you max out your credit card right before fashion week. It’s a work expense, so no worries, it doesn’t count at all.”
Emily : “And everything in liquid form. Can’t make you fat, everyone knows that. Like having a glass of champagne at brunch. It’s just a drink.”
Me : “OR DRINKING WHEN YOU’RE ALREADY DRUNK! That one’s not bad, huh? Yep, it doesn’t count because you can’t count. Ha!
And voilà, Garance. Go ahead have another drink when you’re already drunk.
Pfffffff didn’t even have time to get to the sexy part. No fair.
That’ll teach me to not be able to hold my drink.
PS : Just to say, I almost added in another category, “drunk post,” but then I thought that wouldn’t be the most chic thing ever and if Anna Wintour ever made a visit, or even my mother (Hey Mama!), they’d both say, “oh, that’s not chic!”
PS2 : I should also say that I almost told you all about how she gave me a piggy back ride (Not Anna Wintour… Emily) to protect my shoes from the mud before getting to the Jane Hotel, but that doesn’t count seeing as we didn’t have a single cocktail in us yet.
PS3 : You have stuff that doesn’t count too, right? Gimmie a little back up here!
PPPS Nothing to do with anything else : The top in the illustration is inspired by a Balenciaga. Big hugs!
Translation : Tim Sullivan