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Style

How To…
Be Assaulted by a Horde of StreetStyle Photographers (Myself included)

You think your look is as good as all the editors and stylists that you see on all the streetstyle blogs? You think it’s no fair that it’s always the same people?

So listen up, Paris fashion week is on the horizon and it’s your time to unleash your inner Anna Dello Russo. If you want to immortalize your look via a streetstyle photographer, don’t leave home without these tips:

1/ BASICS

 

Streetstyle photographers react to the most simple of stimuli. So to excite their instinct, make sure to :

• Wear colors —> It makes for photos that pop.

• Wear nothing but black —> You’ll look like a fashion editor.

• Wear big sunglasses / Wear big corrective glasses / Wear a big hat —> The less you’re seen, the more you’re wanted.

• Wear heels. Super high ones OR/AND super bizarre OR/AND super colorful. If the heel is made of an old doorknob / legos / a stuffed animal, +2 pts.

• Mix improbable prints.

• Wear open-toed shoes without stockings in the snow / fur in summer —> dressing for the wrong season is very in fashion.

• Wear the pièce de resistance of the season. This season, it’s :
- A long skirt (make sure you have the burst of wind to go with)

- Anything from Prada.

- An enormous fur

- Leopard print (a little last season, but still works)

• Wear something wtf. —> Wear a shoe as a hat, make a skirt from your shower curtain, steal some construction worker’s uniform to go with your Jil Sander plastic bag. It’s miraculous how well these things work.

2/ ATTITUDE CHANGES EVERYTHING.

If you have only 2 of the 10 elements listed above, you still have a chance of getting a snapshot taken. The secret? Have the right attitude.

• Attitude #1 = Have a telephone, of course! But not so fast, don’t you dare talk, it doesn’t photograph well. Just listen, or even better, send a text.

• Attitude # 2 = Look busy! Have a fancy invitation in your hand (—> you’ve got somewhere to be)(You don’t have one? Just grab pretty much any half-sheet of paper and you’re set) and walk fast (—> your driver’s waiting on you, you’re so important) with the sense that you just want to be left alone, but not too much now (be careful to keep moderation).

• Attitude #3 = Hail a cab like a ballerina would dance Swan Lake. Long lines ladies !

PS : Are you arriving by taxi? NEVER get out right by the entrance, big mistake. Get out on the other side of the street at the very least. You need to give the photographers some time to find you.

WARNING : Anna Dello Russo gets there at the same time as you?

You’re gonna miss your entrance. Give her about 10 minutes to let her have her wow moment, that’s the least amount of time it’ll take her to parkour herself to the show entrance.

3/ IF YOU’RE DESPERATE

Streetstyle photographers are always attracted by other streetstyle photographers, no matter what outfit you’re wearing.

If you really have tried everything and you’re about to throw in the towel, bring a two or three friends with you with big cameras and have them run around in front of you taking your picture.

4/ IF YOU’RE REALLY DESPERATE

Find Anna Dello Russo, Giovanna Battaglia or Taylor Tomasi Hill and just attach yourself to them while they’re getting their pictures taken.With a little luck, you’ll end up in one of the photos. Hey, you gotta start somewhere, right?

5/ BUT BE CAREFUL, DON’T LOOK LIKE YOU’RE DESPERATE

Streetstyle photographers are like hunters : they don’t like too easy of prey, no matter how chic they are. Don’t platter yourself up, meaning, don’t just stand there in the position TAKE MY PICTURE in front of a show. Let yourself be desired. Or hey, even be uncooperative, it’ll make getting a good picture that much better – Everyone wants to get the perfect picture of Anna Wintour because she would never stop to have her picture taken.

6/ IT WORKED! YOU GOT YOUR PICTURE TAKEN!!! HOW TO NOT RUIN EVERYTHING…

• If they ask who you are, pretend like you can’t speak English, or French, or Japanese, or anything really. Just say your name and let them imagine you are the editor in chief of Vogue from the Federated States of Micronesia.

• If they ask you who you’re wearing and you don’t want to say it’s Target, even if it’s brand new, say vintage.

• Never ask where you’ll be able to see the photo (see “don’t look desperate” above).

PS : It’s useless to go parading yourself around in front of a night show. The lighting is terrible. Streetstyle photographers aren’t out at night, seeing as that’s photo editing time.

And then next time around, I’ll have to explain how to NOT Get Assaulted by a Horde of Streetstyle Photographers, because being a star of streestyle blogs is sais to be awfully exhausting. Big hugs!

Translation : Tim Sullivan


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