Onward we march to your best worst beauty advice, because really, I think we’ve all heard such utter nonsense that just has to come out again at some point.
We’ll start with skin care, because you’re worth it.
- Just slap yourself a few times in the morning. You’ll see, your cheeks will turn pink and you won’t need blush. A told to Alison.
- The best treatment for the bags under your eyes : Preparation H, every night. As told to Angela.
- The best treatment against pimples : nail polish remover! They heal quicker. Well, I guess that makes sense. I mean, if you don’t have any more skin, you won’t have any more pimples… As told to Claire.
And surely don’t forget to keep your body in tip top shape :
- You should massage your breast with onions so they will grow bigger. As told to Pia.
- The best solution to lose weight? Put on the clothes you don’t fit in anymore : After five days, your love handles will melt away under all the pressure of the fabric. As told to Marjolaine.
In terms of “tight clothes are our friends,” I think starting tomorrow, I’m going to follow this little gem:
- Are your legs too hairy? Wear the skinniest jeans you can get your hands on, and with all the chaffage, it’ll go away all on its own. As told to Andrea.
And of course, taking up all your attention, your hair:
- If you want to cut your own hair, all you have to do is put on a stripy top and just cut following one line. For bangs though, I really don’t have a solution. A told to Cécile.
The good news is that I got a solution for bangs in another e-mail:
- To cut your bangs yourself, find some scissors, and just get a piece of tape, stick it at the desired length, and then cut. Simple as that. A told to Maheva.
There’s an ideal solution for everything, including becoming a blonde:
- Just squeeze a lemon on your head and head out into the sun. You’ll have the most amazing blonde sun-streaks.
And probably sunstroke as well. A told to Mamzelle.
And the ideal solution for straight hair :
- It works best to do it with an iron!
Please never do that.
If you’re going to use makeup, consider the following :
- That gold lipstick will look amazing with brown lip liner: As told to Carolina.
- A girl can never have too much blue eye-shadow : Jamie Lee Curtis in the film “My Girl.” Sent in by Emilie.
- Everyone can pull off smokey eyes.
And finally, the best of the best of your best worst beauty advice compiled into one place – Sorry, so many of you sent me these three absolutely wonderfully terrible pieces of advice that it was entirely too hard to decide… :
- Cut off your eyelashes. They’ll grow back thicker and longer. NO. Just… NO.
- The best way to get rid of pimples : Put toothpaste on them. ??? ?
- For a good tan, instead of sunscreen, use olive oil and lemon juice. It works great.
Note from the Editor : Yeah, I remember when I was growing up in Corsica and my mom had some friends who did that. I never knew people would still give such advice today. NEVER DO THIS!!! It will leave a permanent stain.
- Olive oil, again = Give yourself a hair-treatment with olive oil. You’ll have the most sublime head of hair. And afterwards, you’ll have olive oil in your hair forever – and the smell to match. BEWARE.
And there you have it! If your name is in this post, you’ll get your t-shirt soon and thank you to all for participating!
And one last thing : Let’s save our olive oil for salads, please ;-)
Translation : Tim Sullivan.