bitch_talking_shit

I love swearing.

I say shit, fuck, fucking – as in “That’s so fucking cool”… I guess I’m just like everyone else, right? You do the same thing, don’t you? Give me some reassurance here.
Okay, so maybe my swear word vocabulary isn’t the most fluent. I hardly use any curses other than those, even if recently, I’ve added a new word to my vulgar vernacular: Bitch. Welcome, Bitch.

It took me by surprise the first time. I wondered where it came from.

I was joking around with a friend when suddenly I called her “such a bitch,” which had her totally cracking up. Still though, as soon as the word crossed my lips, I was kind of a little shocked. Missy Elliott, get out of my body!!!

I’m not sure when the word started to be used in everyday language. Alex tells me that it all started with the super cult teen movie Mean Girls where the girls call each other slut and whore and bitch but I wasn’t in the US yet for all that.

I feel like a while back we were saying be-atch to be funny, which made it easier to use and it ended up in daily language. It became a funny word, like a little poke, not exactly appropriate, but not so inappropriate either.

So now, girls are ok to call each other that. Beyoncé has a new song that asks us to “Bow Down Bitches.” Kanye put together a track that talks about Kim Kardashian as the “Perfect Bitch.” In a totally different world, Thug Kitchen, a vegan food blog, told me to calm my bitch ass down and even Gwyneth is on board.

Oh and for that matter, here is what I saw last fashion week.

Nice hat.

I’m a little confused. I mean, Thug Kitchen cracks me up, and I listen to hip hop all day long with all the very explicit language, and I’m for an uninhibited and modern language, and I understand that reappropriating a term means you can take some of its original outrage away (it’s called reclaiming from what I’ve heard)…

But sometimes I wonder if the joke is on us (us, the “bitches”) when we play with these kind of words.
Yes, I am talking about feminism and respect for ourselves and all that.

What do you think? How carefully do you choose your words? What takes it too far? Or do you find all that just super fun?

Translation : Tim Sullivan

242 comments

Add yours
  • Emilie lizzycasalou April, 22 2013, 9:11 / Reply

    Hey girl!! What a fucking fuck day today :-) Nous on adore parler gras au bureau; ça détend. Je dis d’ailleurs souvent à ma partner “fais pas ta connasse” !! kiss kiss

  • Coco April, 22 2013, 9:12 / Reply

    Je suis la première à jurer (et à pas me sentir toujours très classe..mais bon), mais c’est vrai qu’au fond je pense que les mots ont un impact et que tout ça n’est pas si anodin..

  • Quinn Cooper April, 22 2013, 9:16 / Reply

    I have noticed the same trend with “bitch” as you have. Sometimes it can be funny, but I really think it depends on who is saying it, what tone they are saying it in and how they are using the word. The same can be said about the F-word. It really just depends.
    The word also just mean female dog, so it’s not a crazy insulting word in its roots, I guess?
    Anyway, so down with Thug Kitchen, its hilarious and totally unique, love seeing something so hilarious paired with food.

    xo Quinn

    Quinn Cooper Style

  • soleils April, 22 2013, 9:16 / Reply

    Yo Garance, si tu ne l’as pas déjà fait, va jeter un oeil sur Gizoogle.net, tu vas rire.
    Sinon, les mots ont beaucoup de pouvoir, alors il faut vraiment savoir les manier et garder du recul. Ces mots dans les mauvaises mains peuvent faire beaucoup de dégâts. Mais il faut aussi savoir dédramatiser, entre adultes consentants!

  • Ema April, 22 2013, 9:17 / Reply

    A très petite dose et à une super copine, ça surprend.
    Pour le reste : no way !

  • Tyson Hilton April, 22 2013, 9:19 / Reply

    Salut Garance j’utilise souvent le mots “Bitch” en france… il est aussi trés popularisé, et si tu écoute NICKI MINAJ (Sorte de Barbie rapeuse) elle utilise constament ce language ce qui fais qui est trés populaire! XOXO, TYSON HILTON. ;)

  • Monsieur J April, 22 2013, 9:19 / Reply

    Bitch c’est mon insulte sympas depuis quelques mois maintenant, mais j’aime bien dire plage de temps à autres ça détend un peut les gens.
    Le seul problème c’est qu’il y a des personnes qui peuvent mal le vivre… je suis le roi de la oups!
    Si tu cherche quelqu’un pour dire ce qu’il faut pas je suis ton homme.

  • Roxanne April, 22 2013, 9:19

    Haha “plage”, je suis preneuse!!

  • Georgina Ustik April, 22 2013, 9:21 / Reply

    I say them too! Except I’m thinking of stopping because when you say them so often, they lose their power. If you say them little and save them for when you really mean them, they will really let people know what you’re thinking.

  • andreea April, 22 2013, 9:24 / Reply

    well, yeah, garance, we use that kind of language as well :)

    http://littleaesthete.com

  • Miss M April, 22 2013, 9:25 / Reply

    ***sigh*** I choose not to swear most of the time. Guess I’m a snob because I find swearing vulgar and soooo pedestrian. Really, can’t find anything more witty to say?

  • Meinglitter April, 22 2013, 9:25

    I am sooo the same! I simply refuse to swear, it’s cheap, it’s vulgar – I try to pick my words so they are straight to the point and trust me: when I want to be mean or emphasize something my words can be a thousand times better than the f or the b word.

  • Nicolette April, 22 2013, 9:25

    Agreed. Before I was married and dating, men were always intrigued by the fact that I never swore.
    It made me different from most other girls and it was noticed and I got a lot of attention even though I am no pinup. It’s as if such a simple thing as controlling what you say can make you sublime in a way that no outfit can !
    Certainly the cliche is true men tend to want to marry the girls who rise above the banal and the obscene so it depends what you are trying to attract into your life how you choose to present yourself.
    Garance, whenever you use bad language in your videos it loses a lot of charm for me , as it’s your feminine and girlish side that attracts your audience and you’re very funny without having to rely on anything jaded.

  • Cecilia April, 22 2013, 9:27 / Reply

    Bon, d’abord je dois dire que je ne comprend pas très bien l’acception de ce mot. Comment et quant peut-on l’employer? Et puis je trouve que bien parler, sans trop des mauvais mots, est devenu très rare et donc plus intéressant!
    http://modeskinen.blogspot.com

  • Maria Cochrane April, 22 2013, 9:30 / Reply

    Non- je le trouve choquant, laid, marque de la paresse (est-ce un mot?). Pourquoi pas essayer d’utiliser les mots qui donnent de l’espoir. Le monde est suffisant déprimant Les mots ont le pouvoir. Ils sont un truc dangereux. Mieux être silencieux que d’ajouter quelque chose de grossier.
    Quand même je t’ applaudis de nous avoir donné un forum pour en discuter.

  • Anan April, 22 2013, 9:33 / Reply

    Back in the day I wouldn’t even say crap.. Now its all different. I use “fuck” and “bitch” the least because I still associate them with a negative and disrespectful meaning so I don’t really call my friends bitches or use the word “fuck”. But “shit” “crap” & “ass” are a total green zone for me. I guess it all depends on one’s interpretation of those words.

  • D April, 22 2013, 9:35 / Reply

    Haha I am not quite like you because I don’t like to swear! Personally, I never felt comfortable using the word. Words hold power and the meaning of this word can cause a lot of harm. And if its being ‘reapprppriated’ – how am I supposed to know the consequences of what I utter or how the other person will receive this word? It can be funny and you can easily use it amongst your friends. And yes, a looot of people swear, myself sometimes. But even with my friends, I found it rude LOL or if they called me a bitch I’d feel offended! So I usually am more careful with words

  • Judith A. April, 22 2013, 9:36 / Reply

    Ummmm, I find all that words kind of aggressive. In my circle, some of my friends call each other
    ” witch” (bruja), sometimes “little witch”, but I can’t, I call my sisters “little sisters” and I like that way.

  • ziloa April, 22 2013, 9:37 / Reply

    Quand j’entends des filles qui s’appellent entres elles “ma salope” ou autres jolis mots.. Elles sont souvent très “populaires”.

  • kris April, 22 2013, 9:38 / Reply

    i find it super fun!!!! i’ve got a real potty mouth…..it really gets your point across…whether it’s “garance your hair is so fucking cute”…..or “what the fuck”…..love your posts…love your creativity…love you….have a perfect day!!! xoxox

  • Diana April, 22 2013, 9:40 / Reply

    Alors, moi perso, je jure beaucoup mais seulement en français. Maudire en anglais n’est pas assez naturel ou rigolo pour moi qu’en français. Peut-être que je écoute trop de booba ? :x

  • Jenny April, 22 2013, 9:41 / Reply

    I do think that we are showing a disespect for the female image when we curse like this. The words are choice and gendered. Think about it. Bow down bitches? C’mon. Why not Bow Down Bastards? Does not flow well… weird how women get all the cuss words. (Cunt, slut, bitch) So easy to say; so easy to abuse.

    http://www.jenandlek.blogspot.com

  • Barbara April, 22 2013, 9:41 / Reply

    I can really appreciate a heartfelt swearword from a woman, every now and then. I think it can really add an authenticity to their femininity.
    It gets tacky, though, when 4-letter words start flying out of a girls mouth left and right.

    So, please, swear with intention, and do so sparsely.
    For fucks sake.

  • Nathalie, L'heure d'été April, 22 2013, 9:41 / Reply

    Alors… je suis très mal placée pour te répondre. Quand je suis seule, je dis pas mal de Me…et de Pu…. . A mon grand désespoir. Je n’en suis pas fière. J’ai une excuse, je viens de Bordeaux. (C’est une excuse ? ça va, ça passe ? Le Sud de la France, toussa toussa.)
    Pour en revenir à ta question, j’essaie de prendre garde aux mots que j’emploie en public, car j’attache une grande importance à leur signification. Maintenant, je n’aurai jamais un langage aussi châtié que les ladies anglaises de la belle époque. Trop tard… toute une éducation à refaire ! J’envie les habitudes de mon mari qui parvient à jouer avec la langue sans user de mots faciles mais trop forts.
    Belle journée !
    Nathalie

  • Nathalie, L'heure d'été April, 22 2013, 9:41

    Un petit mot pour terminer ma pensée…
    Si l’on réfléchit au mot “Bitch” spécifiquement, je pense que je m’approprierai jamais ce terme. Pourquoi ?
    * Parce que, les expressions vulgaires que j’utilise seule parfois (honte honte, je ne les assume pas ! :) ) sont des mots qui finalement veulent dire “zut, mince”. Alors que le terme “Bitch”, intégré dans une phrase, du moins telle que je comprends l’acception, s’adresse à quelqu’un, même si c’est dans un esprit taquin. Ainsi, même avec des petites fleurs dans la phrase pour arrondir les angles et marquer le second degré, je crois que cette expression peut un jour gêner ou blesser les gens que j’aime. Je m’en voudrais.
    * En outre, j’imagine que ce mot s’adresse spécifiquement à une femme (et donc n’est pas compatible avec un ami homme). Et là, mon petit côté “Vive la femme” se réveille.
    Voilà, ma petite pensée du soir (espoir) est terminée. Pardon pour la longueur. Maintenant, je ne souhaite surtout pas prendre la position de “Madame la morale”. J’adore réfléchir en groupe à certaines questions et je ne m’offusque bien évidemment en rien de tes interrogations ou des façons de parler entre copines outre Atlantique. Heureusement ! :)
    A bientôt, Nathalie

  • Gabrielle April, 22 2013, 9:41 / Reply

    I might sound like the “super mummy”, but I actually control my language since I have kids…. well almost all the time…. some days ago, my little one, she’s 2 years old dropped something and said “shit”…. and all adults around cracked up laughing :-D and since then, she uses it all the time, she must have liked the attention she got after saying that ;-)

  • Rachelle April, 22 2013, 9:44 / Reply

    I think it’s just the IT thing now and I don’t take it seriously when listening to Hip Hop and such BUT no one is allowed to call me a Bitch. If a man refers to woman as Bitches we probably won’t be getting along all that well. It’s disrespectful and way too vulgar. Although I do joke with some of my girlfriends they way you did.

    xo
    http://pinksole.com

  • marie lgdc April, 22 2013, 9:44 / Reply

    ahahah
    moi j’appelle mes potes “meuf”
    mais alors à toutes les sauces!
    “ça va meuf?”
    “mais meuf t’es serieuse?”
    en réaction à une blague “ahahaha meuuuuuuuuuuuf”

    Pas très classe non plus, mais bon ;)

    http://marielgdc.blogspot.com/

  • Laurel April, 22 2013, 9:45 / Reply

    Sometimes, we really need these words for extreme situations or people. If we use them casually and frequently in everyday circumstances, the words will lose their power for when we really need them. I also think we all need to learn to be sweeter and gentler with each other, not harsher and rougher. Life is hard enough (especially this past week) without having these hard words tossed about all the time.

  • Jenny April, 22 2013, 9:46 / Reply

    Oh yeah, a little P.S., Alex is right. I think the cuss-throwing started with Mean Girls. But that is so silly. We took something that was meant to satire and call attention to how silly it is for girls to be mean to each other and DEVELOPED IT. It is similar to people referencing Chuck Norris as being a badass… when really it was supposed to be irony because Chuck Norris starred in several Republican commercials calling for gun rights and fundie literature…

    Society!!!!

  • Mary Gambee April, 22 2013, 9:49 / Reply

    Oh, Garance:

    Swearing is like spice in the stew- a little is good, too much ruins the dish.

    Nothing inspirational about Kim Kardasian- so vulgar & tacky & embarrassing.

    Women need to stand up against misogynist cultural trends (they are not harmless). A bitch is a female dog, not a woman.

  • David April, 22 2013, 9:49

    Thug Kitchen, Beyonce, and Mean Girls as cultural reference points???? Please, Garance, just say NO. I’d like to suggest you read Maya Angelou’s collection of essays “Wouldn’t Take Nothing for My Journey Now.” She addresses swearing and the power of language in a few of the essays. I have to say that NOT swearing and finding alternate words will show more creativity, elegance, eloquence, and intelligence. Wouldn’t you rather make that impression in the use of your second language?

  • Stephanie April, 22 2013, 9:49

    Hear, hear!

    I too think that swearing well is hard to do and as a trend it’s another example of popular culture encouraging mediocrity.

    Thanks for the interesting post.

  • Colony April, 22 2013, 9:49

    This thread within a thread has comments that resonate with me most. There’s a time and a place, and I am all for knowing your audience. If you come at me cursing every two words and called me a b!tch (even in jest), we would have a problem. Age plays into this as well; there comes a point where you realize you have to rein it in. Overuse distracts from what you are really trying to say.

    Lastly, I must say I wish we could find other arbiters of pop culture/hip hop besides Kanye and Jay Z… (and no, Pharrell is not a good substitute, either). :)

  • sarah April, 22 2013, 9:50 / Reply

    c’est un peu le même problème qu’avec les termes “PD” ou “gouines”. les LGBT se les sont ré-appropriés, sous couvert de dédramatiser le terme, mais ça reste une insulte pour ceux qui ne le sont pas. je m’appelle moi-même “grosse gouine”, mais si quelqu’un dans la rue (ou ailleurs) s’amuse à me nommer comme ça, ça me ferait bondir. le tout, je crois c’est d’utiliser ces mots controversés dans les bons contextes. entre copains, oui, dans une discussion sérieuse avec quelqu’un qu’on ne connait pas bien, non.

  • Laura April, 22 2013, 9:51 / Reply

    Avant je ne jurais pas trop, mais maintenant, je me surprend de plus en plus souvent avec des “putain, fait chier”! Par rapport au mot “salope”, je dirais que ça dépend de la façon dont on l’utilise. Quand c’est avec de bons amis, on sait qu’il y a rien d’insultant, ok, mais quand c’est une fille qui le dit sur le ton de la rigolade mais qui n’en pense pas moins, c’est pas super! En tout cas je sais que je ne le dirais pas.

    http://www.laurablogmode.com

  • lpv April, 22 2013, 9:54 / Reply

    I may be showing my age, and I don’t consider myself a prude, but i don’t like it. not that an occasional swear doesn’t come out of my mouth, but in general when i hear women swearing i cringe and it reminds me not to do it.
    i am not fond of be atch either
    I think we have all gotten a little desensitized to it. There is a place for it– i don’t expect to hear OH Fudge in an action movie… but in general conversation maybe we should choose our words more carefully.

  • Ana April, 22 2013, 9:59 / Reply

    je ne jure jamais. Pas par conviction, juste parce que ça ne m’est pas naturel.

  • Lisa April, 22 2013, 10:01 / Reply

    yea… I tend to swear a lot sometimes, but I try to do it mostly with close friends, because I notice it can really disturb me when other people swear. And I think it’s good to remember offensive words will always be offensive to some extent and to some people, even though they might feel harmless and neutral between close friends. It’s like I wouldn’t like just anyone to see me crazy drunk either, it’s not very becoming even if it’s fun! :) and calling ppl bitches… I use it about women I find mean and really don’t like, I think calling your friends bitches sounds a bit childish, it’s something teenagers do.

  • Elizabeth April, 22 2013, 10:04 / Reply

    I regret the overuse of swearing by both men & women, it is ugly & coarse.
    1.The English language is so rich & precise that I find it sad when people use swear words as their only descriptive terms
    2. If you don’t reserve swear words for real extremes, what is left to shock? violence often
    3. it is so frequent that it has no element of surprise

    I become depressed every time I read an interview with an actor/actress/musician etc splattered with swear words. It’s not cool, or rebellious just dull, dull, dull

  • Francesca April, 22 2013, 10:04

    Agreed. Show that you’re more intelligent by not resorting to cuss words – it’s so NOT elegant.

  • Sevan April, 22 2013, 10:06 / Reply

    Je suis d’une generation ou l’on parlait correctement sans employer de vulgarites.
    Les temps ont change, j’essaie de ne pas critiquer car toute generation a ses courants.
    Ce qui m’importe est le respect de la femme.

  • Joyce April, 22 2013, 10:06 / Reply

    I think it really depends on how you say it, and how easily it rolls off the tongue, if that makes sense. If you don’t feel comfortable saying it, then it’s a bit awkward, but if you think it’s totally fine, then so will the person you’re saying it to! (probably)

    Really, it’s just like with everything else, if you can pull it off, go for it!

  • iyiy April, 22 2013, 10:07 / Reply

    well i’m for gender equality so i use bitch with both guys & girls

  • A April, 22 2013, 10:07

    roger that

  • sylie April, 22 2013, 10:10 / Reply

    I cannot yet make myself say the word *bitch* to any of my friends. Nor do any of my friends say it. I still find it offensive. Did you read how women find Beyonce’s ‘bow down bitches’ offensive too? Of course those are feminists. Not to mention Kanye’s Kim song. To be called someone’s perfect bitch must feel so demeaning. yuck.

  • Margaret April, 22 2013, 10:14 / Reply

    I love swearing! I really like it, but I have difficulty explaining it to some friends, including my boyfriend, who finds it rather ugly and unnecessary. That’s sad. i like using the word fuck, and some words in my own language. Mostly fuck, though.
    Bot the word bitch I don’t like. For just that reason which was stated by Tina Fey in Mean Girls. I don’t like the concept of this word in everyday language. Bitch is a negative word in my mind, I would not use it for my friends, but at the same time it’s too rude and, well, bitchy, to use it in the real negative meaning. It sometimes cracks me up, when my best friend uses it, but I’d rather not.

  • Ana April, 22 2013, 10:19 / Reply

    I think it’s awfull. It seems that people who talk like that are empty of content and use this terms just to be part of the contest. I really don’t like this way of talking specially on beautifull women. There are so many words and ways of expressing what you think…why be vulgar?

  • Leslie-Anne April, 22 2013, 10:20 / Reply

    Je me suis faite la même réflexion il y a quelques jours.

  • Beverly April, 22 2013, 10:25 / Reply

    I use all the cuss words with no problem. EXCEPT for the word bitch and I use that only when I have something nasty to say about how a woman is acting, well, bitchy. I hate how it is used now, it’s derogatory to women – not an endearment. Garance, like you closing statement, I think when women use it we are playing with fire.

  • Camille M. April, 22 2013, 10:28 / Reply

    Bizarrement en français je trouve ça bien moins crade qu’en anglais … Et si je dis souvent à mes potes “alleeez fais pas ta catin / pute” ça me viendrait pas à l’esprit de les appeler “pute” ou “salope” tout court. Alors que oui, en anglais c’est un florilège partout de petits surnoms mignons … ou pas !
    Les putain merde connard enculé en situation chiante ou sortis comme ça je trouve ça normal et habituel, autant affubler les gens que j’apprécie de noms comme ça même en me marrant, je trouve que ça passe moins bien. Les mots en perdent leur sens, et bientôt on aura plus de mots pour vraiment insulter quelqu’un ? Ben ouais, c’est vrai, maintenant le rap contender est obligé de sortir des périphrases pour humilier l’autre, alors qu’avant un simple mot suffisait.

    Bizarre !

  • jen April, 22 2013, 10:28 / Reply

    bitch is the one curse word i don’t use…it feels verbally violent to my ears and actually makes me cringe to hear it when others say it, too (even when my gay-bies do it!). though i do understand how it’s habitual and can be due to your environment (in terms of how it becomes normalized in your everyday); it’s an easy thing to start but it’s an easy thing to stop, too.

  • Teddi K April, 22 2013, 10:32 / Reply

    That kind of talk cheapens you – just like too much skin. So not cool!!

  • Nadia April, 22 2013, 10:33 / Reply

    Personnellement je trouve ça moche sortant de la bouche d’une personne qu’elle soit fille ou garçon qu’importe, aux Etats Unis c’est sans doute monnaie courante mais les jurons je n’ai jamais apprécié, c’est comme si nos parents nous avez mal élevés et j’ai l’impression que c’est un non respect vis à vis des personnes qui nous entourent. Mon humble avis

  • shoko April, 22 2013, 10:34 / Reply

    I’m sorry, but I strongly dislike swearing.
    I’m from Japan, and swear words don’t exist in Japanese language, and I’m proud of it.
    Some people think it sounds more fluent or natural by dropping F bomb here in there in the conversation but to me it’s just unpleasant to my ears. It’s not a cool thing either. I’m sorry.

  • Iana April, 22 2013, 10:38 / Reply

    I have nothing against hearing all of these words used so often, because they truly have gotten to be a part of our everyday vocabulary. But me, personally, I don’t use them because I find them vulgar. However stuffy that may sound. They don’t do me any favours in regards to the way in which I would like to present myself. Calling my friends bitches, while playful and fun,is superfluous. I think we all probably have enough people calling us bitches, without our friends having to be included in this group, haha.

  • severine April, 22 2013, 10:41 / Reply

    Marrant, je crois avoir vu un article sur le même sujet dans le Elle de cette semaine (ou un autre mag?), sur ce côté faussement cool des insultes finalement très antiféministes. Est ce que j’aimerais que mon mec me traite de salope.?…alors est ce que je vais traiter mes amies de Bitches ? non je ne crois pas….

  • Jane with the noisy terrier April, 22 2013, 10:41 / Reply

    Oh, you do come up with some fun thought-provoking questions on a Monday morning. I imagine when you drop an f-bomb with your sexy French accent, it sounds adorable. I had a French Canadian friend who was enamoured with American slang and would inject “shit fuck” into almost every sentence, such as “Hey, shitfuck, can you pass the salt?” My very Southern friend Nannette loves to say “fuck,” it’s her swear word of choice, but drawled out “fuuuuuuucccckkk” it’s hilarious. So accents help soften the sting. Probably why my Brit friends laugh when I say “bollocks” or my fav…”wanker!” On the other hand, there’s nothing that makes me cringe more than to overhear young women talking loudly and swearing every other word. (It bothers me when I hear young guys do this too, but like drunkeness, it seems more crass when women do it. We should know better.)

    By the way, Petey the noisy terrier has no problems whatsoever with referring to his lady friends as bitches. He does draw the line at using the word “mutt.”

  • Virginie/Mode9 April, 22 2013, 10:41 / Reply

    Mais moi aussi je suis une vraie charetière, titi parisienne. Ca ne me chope pas, tant que ça reste au second degrés, on n’est pas des cailles non plus hein ! D’ailleurs je dis souvent “salope” à mes copines mais c’est vrai aussi que ça passe mieux de fille à fille que de garçon à fille. Avec mon mari c’est pareil, on s’insulte souvent, ça nous fait marrer :-) Quand à ma fille, qui chante en anglais, elle utilise aussi “perfect bitch” dans une de ses chanson. L’argot a toujours fait parti de notre culture, de tout temps, alors…
    http://www.mode9.fr

  • ayu April, 22 2013, 10:45 / Reply

    I never swear, except when I’m completely pissed off and even then I am totally aware I’m doing it. Not only is it un-ladylike, it doesn’t sound good coming out of anyone’s mouth. It would bother me if my friends or partner used these words a lot.
    I think people who don’t swear sound more mature, smarter and less arrogant.

    Imagine this: you travel abroad to a different culture, let’s say to India, where everyone addresses you with Madam. How would you feel if everyone called you Bitch instead?

    I’m all for being modern and evolution of language, but why did the words with negative connotation come into broad use? Why not the good ones?
    Which words do you use when you want to call someone a negative word if these don’t have such meaning anymore?

    PS: I love me some old school hiphop (DJ Premier <3), but some artists with limited (appropriate?) swearing sound just so much better! I have much more respect for them.

  • matchingpoints April, 22 2013, 10:46 / Reply

    Premièrement, ça veut dire aller vers une facilité linguistique. Pourquoi se creuser la cervelle quand on des mots si faciles à dire et à comprendre, parce qu’il est vrai, les gros mots n’ont pas besoin d’explication de texte. Quand on parle d’un “con”, on se comprend !
    Deuxièmement, ne pensez-vous pas que vous utilisez plus facilement les “gros mots” en anglais ? Moi-même, la partie germanique de matchingpoints, me surprend à utiliser des mots en français que je n’utiliserais pas en allemand, parce qu’ils sont sortie de leur contexte d’éducation reçue.
    Troisièmement, comme il y a la mode qui vient de s’enrichir de la rue, il y a la langue qui s’est enrichie d’un vocabulaire de la rue.
    Cela peut être drôle, décontracté. Par contre, c’est dommage, si c’est au détriment d’un autre vocabulaire.
    Cela nous ne choque pas, mais essayons de limiter – au risque de paraitre rabat joie !

  • Claudine April, 22 2013, 10:47 / Reply

    Je parle comme une ado ! Me disent mes amies “dadame”
    Et je suis pas loin de la 40aine.
    Mais c’est pas grave docteur, car je suis contente comme ça.

    Bon je file prendre le “sub” (=bus)

  • CPJC April, 22 2013, 10:48 / Reply

    Vulgar language = Fail

    It’s like “heroin chic” – maybe in high-fashion circles it is a trend – but it perpetuates/glorifies something much more sinister.

    I have been known to drop some f-bombs once in a while – but when I think of the people I admire and respect the most at a personal and professional level…none of them use vulgar language even if they can be intensely passionate about their work and their message. The people I do not respect are more vulgar both in language and aggressive in body language and tend to show an overall lack of respect for others and seem insecure. Correlation is not causation – but I will align myself with those that I do admire and respect.

  • Susan April, 22 2013, 10:53 / Reply

    I, too, have a potty mouth but I do actually, surprisingly, have a filter when it comes to the B-word. That is where I draw a line. (Although, I have to say, I really like how it’s used above in conjunction with the lavender lemonade, mostly because it is so out of the place! Damn! That is too funny.) To me, as a woman, the b-word goes against all of my feminist instincts and the way it’s used so derogatorily in so many instances that degrade women, by men who degrade women. I’m not African-American, but I wonder if it’s what some African-Americans might feel when they hear the N-word…to me, it seems similar? For now, the F-word works really well, as well as the occasional g-dammit…those seems to satisfy my potty-mouth urges and I’ll probably just stick with those!

  • michaella April, 22 2013, 10:53 / Reply

    Hi Garance!

    thanks for raising the subject! Les mots ont leur sens et je trouve cette “normalisation” totalement aberante. I dont find cool, IT or anything. Women should respect themselves a bit more and raise up the standards. Today teens call their girlfriend B***, tomorrow they will call their Mother, aunts , cousines. #ImJustSayin!
    I love your Blog because you know what elegance, class and distinction mean.
    Ladies are Ladies…No B*** Lets keep the Standard!

    Much love!
    Michaella.R

  • Cristina April, 22 2013, 10:53 / Reply

    Funny post!In Spain we often employ the equivalent of fuck in a normal conversation between friends but not as often as in the U.S. However,we never say the equivalent to the word bitch. This is considered a very serious insult!!

    http://heelsandpeplum.wordpress.com/

  • ines April, 22 2013, 10:54 / Reply

    j’utilise pas tellement de “gros mots” ( mamamamiaaaaaa ) sauf merde putain etc… LA BASE
    mais en ce moment je dis en parlant de moi “comme une connasse” qd je rate qq chose ou quoi, pas tres chic… sinon j’evite, je laisse ca à Nicki ;)

  • ayu April, 22 2013, 10:55 / Reply

    And while the idea behind Thug Kitchen is fabulous, it makes me sad that some people need such motivation to eat more healthily.

  • M. April, 22 2013, 10:56 / Reply

    Garance, Garance, you’re sure you want to sound like Regina George? :facepalm:

  • Serdane April, 22 2013, 10:57 / Reply

    Moi aussi la tendance des gros mots m’enivre. Du coup je me surprend à écouter du Nicki Minaj genre les musiques crues.

    http://www.younglington.wordpress.com

    http://www.thefashionmellow.tumblr.com

  • Chaz Deans April, 22 2013, 10:59 / Reply

    I find that I swear quite a bit myself, even though I have made efforts to tone it down. Mostly because there still exists a large population that cringes when words, that I would deem as “provocative language,” are uttered. I find that sometimes swearing helps convey a more passionate interpretation. For instance, “I love you,” and “I fucking love you,” are taken differently though the only difference is one word: fucking. It gives sentences a kick… Some pizzazz.

    I kind of to like swearing, but it isn’t something I would do in front of new acquaintances, and older folk, mostly due to a respect thing, since not all people are accepting of a “sailor’s tongue.” Once I become familiar, and granted you are within reasonable proximity of my age, by all means I shall indulge.

    I find also, that swear words can be offensive… However, there are much more “sober” words that can be taken as extremely offensive. I remember someone getting quite upset with me for innocently describing something they did as juvenile. Such is life, offense and disrespect is relative, so with swear words it just depends on who you are talking to.

  • Paprika April, 22 2013, 11:03 / Reply

    Je suis Anglaise et Francaise (ma mere is francaise et mon pere est anglais) et donc c’est super interessant de lire des choses comme ca. Je suis a l’ecole en angleterre et je suis habituee au langages comme ca avec des grot mots tout le temps, mais personellement je prefere ne pas jurer, c’est juste comme ca que je suis ahaxx

  • GIGI April, 22 2013, 11:04 / Reply

    Quand j’ai envie de jurer, je préfère dire : zut, flûte, mince

  • Lydia April, 22 2013, 11:05 / Reply

    I believe in using the power of words to respect people, and I think the arts of taste and courtesy are fading. Thus my swearing is rather limited to when I’m quite upset. But, life is short! To each their own!

  • Melinda April, 22 2013, 11:07 / Reply

    Chère Garance,
    The fact it is not your mother tongue makes it all much more exciting no ?! Pretty sure you’d never dare to speak like that in french : that would spoil the fun … (that’s the way it works for me) !
    and yes your blog is fucking cool !!!
    Melinda

  • Teri April, 22 2013, 11:10 / Reply

    Using foul language is the sign of lack of education and culture, of which I know you are not lacking.

  • Caroline April, 22 2013, 11:11 / Reply

    Beau post concernant un problème d’actualité: le language, le respect entre les gens…
    Je ne jure pas (sauf en solo quand personne ne peut m’entendre et uniquement concernant des objets, je n’aime pas les insultes envers les personnes). Je pense que la langue française est suffisamment vaste pour ne pas avoir à utiliser ce genre de mots pour désigner des personnes et encore moins mes ami(e)s. Effectivement comme tu le soulignes nous, femmes, avons perdues un peu du respect qui restait encore à notre portée par la vulgarisation des mots comme tepu, bitch… Si on rétorque “non” on passe pour la rabat joie de service (oui oui, j’assume ce rôle), si on rigole on autorise les autres à nous dévaloriser.

  • Helly April, 22 2013, 11:12 / Reply

    I’m a complete potty mouth and I’m determined to stay that way – I think it is absolutely about reclaiming and also desensitizing – I don’t like it that words have the power to shock and hurt… That said, I’m usually very conservative with my use of the word “see you next Tuesday” (see what I mean?!) – I must try harder on that front, because for me that’s the worst word of all – stupidly taboo and very, very, VERY negative – definitely a word that needs reclaiming – I’m sure it will happen soon – remember how offensive bitch and slut used to be…

  • vanessa la belge April, 22 2013, 11:13 / Reply

    Je jure souvent avec les classiques “merde”, “putaiiiiin”, “con/conne”. et “fait chier” Il m’arrive parfois d’insulter des inconnus de connard/connasse. Mais uniquement les inconnus pcq j’aime et respecte trop mes proches pour leur parler ainsi…
    Vieille école p-e (mm si je n’ai “que” 26ans) mais ca me choquerait vraiment de traiter ma meilleure amie de connasse. Alors les mots a caractère sexuel du genre salope, pute, … n’en parlons pas!

  • Dynath April, 22 2013, 11:17 / Reply

    Les jurons en anglais restent pour moi assez grossiers, vulgaires, pas naturels (pour quelqu’un qui parle francais, je veux dire) etc. Mais le comble du pas chic et élégant c’est bien “bitch”. En ordre d’impact je trouve que ce dernier est de loin le pire. Je suis sans doute vieux jeu, mais je vois mal dans quel situation je pourrais l’employer dans une conversation sans que ca sonne faux, sortant de ma bouche.

    Je n’écoute pas de hip-hop, peut-etre que tout s’explique.

    Au sinon, pour les jurons francais (putain et merde), c’est mes préférés versus les jurons québécois qui sont un véritable désastre chez une fille s’exprimant avec un vocabulaire trop coloré.

  • Marie-Aimee Abizera April, 22 2013, 11:20 / Reply

    WOW Garance, such an interesting topic indeed for a Monday morning when one might be tempted to use all the above words first thing rolling out of bed :) Can you tell I hate Mondays?!!

    I’ve never been fond of using such words due to a completely different experience in my life at an early age of 12. It doesn’t bother me when others use them around me, my sister thinks am stuck up for finding swearing a bit degrading sometime. As a black/ African women, the N word gets on my last nerve, regardless who uses it, due to the origin of the word. Thus I find the B** word and the F*** word a bit derogatory for myself to use. However, I say shit all the time :) So I doubt this makes be better than anyone else who uses all the above, I just don’t like using the words, just like the N** word, I would hate for anyone to call me the B*** regardless.

    Happy Monday everyone.

  • florence April, 22 2013, 11:21 / Reply

    Perso, je préfère de loin les blasphèmes de type “Nom de Dieu” . C’est très méditerannéen, il y en a qui sont de vrais florilèges et je les préfère de loin aux injures souvent myso.

  • Floraidh April, 22 2013, 11:22 / Reply

    I like swearing too, but “bitch” is derogatory towards women (as are some other words)and shouldn’t be used.

    I think it’s really important not to use these words and to signal that they are unacceptable, whether in personal conversations or more generally in culture (music, fasion whatever). Letting these words enter our lexicon is a form of indirect but extremely aggressive sexism.

    Garance – on a different note, I love your blog! Thank you!

  • Andrea April, 22 2013, 11:22 / Reply

    Je pense que l’on peut jurer ainsi mais seulement lorsqu’on est sûr que la personne en face de nous ne le prendra pas mal ou que ça ne choquera pas les personnes qui nous entourent! Il est parfaitement de jurer de nos jours, on a toujours entendu des “gros mots”, forcément, tout le monde en dit et ça permet d’exprimer ce que l’on pense mais il faut savoir se maintenir et pouvoir se contrôler et ne pas sortir des “putains” à tout bout de champ car ça peut devenir désagréable et on peut penser que la personne est vulgaire. Il faut rester un minimum dans le chic mais le chic ce n’est pas non plus savoir parler comme une lady. Voilà mon avis à ce propos, pour ce qui est du “bitch” je le sors à mes amies des fois mais on se dit ça en rigolant, même en France le “bitch” devient commun mais comme tout autre mots il faut savoir l’utiliser quand il fait et à petites doses car même si il n’est pas de notre langue natale il devient vite vulgaire!
    http://www.itsaboutla.blogspot.fr

  • lola April, 22 2013, 11:24 / Reply

    Rien que le mot “con”, comment est-il devenu une insulte et un mot de dénigrement ? C’est un grave irrespect des femmes au fond…

  • Sandra April, 22 2013, 11:26 / Reply

    As a 40 something female who has been known to swear with the best of them, I have been trying to cut the profanity out of my everyday language lately, on the request of my boyfriend. Now, I’m not one to just blithely comply with his wishes (far from it, really!), but he said that the words sound so harsh, coming from a female, and after thinking about it for a while (and listening objectively to myself swear), I do believe that he makes a good point. Modern day society seems to have done away with so many of the niceties of manners and decorum, and that’s a shame.

  • Katarzyna April, 22 2013, 11:29 / Reply

    Being foreigner living in Ireland (where swearing is part of fluently speaking Irish English), I needed some time to adapt to all the F-words. I was as well taken by surprise when my boss (an elderly woman) once affectionately called me “my little bitch”. As time went by I understood that insult can be THE highest form of compliment among some Irish people and it shows, that you’re really close to eachother.

    However, in english I would use “fuck off ” if something/somebody really crossed my limits, but in my mother tongue, apart from occasionally saying shit, I wouldn’t be swearing. I find it just too vulgar.

  • Anjela April, 22 2013, 11:29 / Reply

    I’ve wondered about this for a while. Considering that gender tropes are really what makes words like ‘bitch’, ‘slut’, ‘whore’, etc., offensive, perhaps using them in a non-pegorative way and reclaiming them may actually help change their connotation in the long-run. As an example, the ever-so-wise words of Tina Fey- ‘bitches get stuff done!’ rings true to many situations in which being perceived (or called) a ‘bitch’ refers to a woman who doesn’t necessarily conform to traditional gender roles and achieves something that others may find surprising due to her gender. Perhaps in that case, being called a bitch could potentially alter the meaning of the word itself.

  • Andrea April, 22 2013, 11:31 / Reply

    Merde et shit, oui. Fuck et putain, jamais. Bitch, juste s’il fallait traiter quelqu’un de sale garce. Ce qui m’inquiète est mon suremploi du terme bullshit! Car je trouve que tout est bullshit….

  • Emanuella April, 22 2013, 11:32 / Reply

    So here’s my opinion Garance. Like most others I do swear, but I wouldn’t call myself a “regular swear-er”. It just so happens that most of the vulgar words come out when I’m angry or have accidentally smashed my toe into a wall (my favourites for that occasion are: “shit” or “fuck”, but excessively drawn out to underline the pain when one smashes one’s toe :P). I have actually heard that swearing to release your pain is actually healthy :) (Yayyyy!!).
    Now regarding the use of the word “bitch” on the other hand, I have slightly different opinions. Especially regarding the use of the words when speaking about friends. I believe if women start using the word to speak about our friends or other women in general, we are making it ok for men or even a perfect stranger to use the word as well. And I want to point out that I am in not a feminist.
    I think that using vulgar language has become a “norm” so to speak because we know longer know how to express ourselves using words. Instagram and Facebook are all the rage, but they mostly use pictures to express a moment or an opinion. In other words, when speaking about a girl who really treated us badly or was rude it seems easier for us to just call her a bitch. But these terms are so general!! (What exactly makes someone a bitch?)
    So all in all, I’m for swearing when the occasion is right (i.e. royally pissed off or in pain), but I dread the moment when swearing will become part of our everyday means of communication. In that case then, it will no longer be considered swearing though will it? Because swearing implies that there is something off-limits about using the word.
    Love your blog, I’m a huge fan. You always bring up interesting discussions :)

    Emanuella

  • Cee April, 22 2013, 11:35 / Reply

    When talking to close friends, it’s kind of making my point more clearly ( and more fun) by adding the “s” and ” f” words! By the way, were u @ Zara @59th St., Lexington Ave.?

  • Judith April, 22 2013, 11:38 / Reply

    Je ne pense pas qu’appeler sa copine ‘bitch’ soit une insulte, oui, à la base, c’est une insulte, mais tout dépend du contexte. “Ma bitch” ou des mots comme ça, c’est au contraire plutôt affectif! (En tous cas, ici à Paris -en France- ça ne choque personne).

  • ??? April, 22 2013, 11:38 / Reply

    I think it’s marvelous! It’s called amelioration, a type of semantic change – “the introduction of positive connotations or removal of negative ones for a word or expression”. It’s TOTALLY reclaiming a word. It’s hard to insult someone with the word “bitch” nowadays, right? Noow, let’s give “slut” the same treatment *__* i’m gonna start doing it!

    and ps. swearing is the best thing …

  • Sylvite April, 22 2013, 11:38 / Reply

    I just can’t get behind that word. All the others are fine but those that have a negative female connotation I just can’t do…don’t know why it bothers me but it does. Just my opinion. Love your blog Garance!

  • Mary April, 22 2013, 11:45 / Reply

    I find that as a non-native speaker of English, swear words do not have the same emotional load that they have for a native speaker. Words are after all an arbitrary collection of sounds which have no correspondence to the meaning. As a result of this, I found myself swearing a lot as a student both in English and in my own language.
    Now that I am older and a bit wiser, I find I have no need for swear words unless I am in a full fit of rage. I think it is a matter of control and confidence. I have many ways of expressing my feelings (sarcasm being one of them) and I choose not to use swear words. Having children does help. I am constantly stunned by the casual use of swear words on twitter or on blogs and I am afraid I do judge people who use them not from a sense of moral outrage but because I believe people should respect their readers.
    On the subject of “reclaiming” words, I remember a long time ago a discussion on Oprah on the use of the n-word by black people. The argument was that black people use that word differently to whites and that it was somehow acceptable. I refused to believe that then and I refuse to believe it now. This word shocks me no matter the colour of the person who utters it. The same goes for the b-word referring to women. Why? Why are we accepting this?
    Sorry for going on and on! On a lighter note, living in the UK, I do use the bl**dy word a lot. How else can you describe the weather we have here? xxx

  • Janis April, 22 2013, 11:49 / Reply

    It’s a slippery slope. When women call themselves bitches, then men think it’s OK to call them that too.
    It’s sort of like the “n-word”… rappers started using it and now everyone thinks it’s OK. I had to have a long discussion with my 30 year-old (white) nephew recently about why it wasn’t alright for him to say “nigga.”
    While you can argue that words are just words, these particular ones originated as a way of degrading people.
    I think it all adds to the general trend towards disrespect of others.
    We women need to respect ourselves and expect others to respect us too.
    That starts and ends with us!

  • wanderlusting expat April, 22 2013, 12:06 / Reply

    I think swearing sounds incredibly trashy, and yet I can’t break myself of the habit! I still bristle when I hear others searing. But oh it feels so good sometimes…

  • marina April, 22 2013, 12:06 / Reply

    I’ve noticed that I’ll swear at my computer when it freezes (wtf@&%?!?!) or at random mishaps, like stepping into a puddle (sh#t!!!), but I really try to limit swearing to these random outbursts when I’m speaking at or to no one in particular and avoid swearing as much as possible in actual conversations. Also (and I know it’s silly to discriminate like this or have these “old-fashioned” views) I find that women swearing is especially unattractive (and I’m in my 20s… not 50s ;) I don’t mind it in hip hop / music in general (another double standard, I know!) but I really dislike it in regular speech. My native language is actually Russian, which happens to be incredibly complex, vocabulary-rich and quite beautiful, but also the most dirtied with profanity (seriously, I don’t think anyone swears more than Russians). Maybe that’s the root of my swearing aversion…

  • CORY SCOTT April, 22 2013, 12:08 / Reply

    That hat is sooooo cool! Don’t you like to swear like as much as French people do in general? We’re the best at swearing, PUTAIN DE MERDE!! ;-)

    Paris-NYC Fashion Blog
    The Deep Blue Cory Fashion Blog
    The Deep Blue Cory Facebook Page
    Xoxo Cory

  • Ambyr April, 22 2013, 12:09 / Reply

    I try not to swear but it just comes outta my mouth like it’s meant to be said. Sometimes I do try to use different dialect but other times it’s so easily said and unnoticed. Hmm, for now, whatev.

    xoxo
    http://www.thewrittenrunway.com

  • seul et fabuleux ! April, 22 2013, 12:10 / Reply

    C’est le surnom de Janet Jackson ! Elle l’avait dit dans une interview… “My close close friends tell me bitch” ! :)

  • Lolita April, 22 2013, 12:11 / Reply

    Je suis ni pour ni contre le “bitch” mais je sais que je serai incapable d’évoluer dans un monde où je ne pourrais pas jurer ! Peut-être une pseudo rébellion contre le “c’est pas joli dans la bouche d’une fille”… ben justement ! Na !

    Check out my new outfit post :
    http://hidinginheaven.blogspot.fr/2013/04/the-one-with-lazy-sunday.html

  • Eve April, 22 2013, 12:14 / Reply

    Il ne faut pas banaliser tout ces mots!!!
    il est quand même dangeureux d’utiliser des mots aussi forts et qui peuvent faire mal
    ce n’est qu’une mode de rue…le langage des jeunes de la rue (mal engueule)
    je suis du Quebec donc francophone mais tres americanise par la proximite des USA
    et croyez moi traiter quelqu’un de BITCH est une insulte suprême dirige
    vers une fille mais venant bien souvent d”une autre fille !
    Une fille “bitch” c est le summum de l’insulte
    de même que dire FUCK pour un francophone ppfft, il y a aucun probleme
    mais pour un anglophone c’est l’insulte suprême!
    je crois que c est juste une mode de rue ou des personnes qui se disent mode mais dans le genre
    superficiel!
    Moi, je ne dis pas à mes copines des mots tels: de plus ils sont blessants!|!
    C’ESt très violent comme expression et assurement pas anodin…alors! si une fille COOL (ou qui se pense cool!) de New york vous dit : aie! salut Salope ou bitch!? ” je me poserais des questions à savoir
    si il n’y a pas un fond de verite …elle le pense vraiment ou dans le style!!??
    Soi dit en passant, Garance, merci de l’Avoir mit sur la place publique!

  • Catherine April, 22 2013, 12:14 / Reply

    It’s one of those things, like cracking my knuckles, that I wish I didn’t do because it isn’t at all elegant. (Do you think Grace Kelly had a potty mouth? I doubt it.)
    However, shit/fuck/crap aside, I wouldn’t call somebody a bitch unless it were in a fit of fury, and intended to define just how nasty and evil that person is.
    I had a female boss years ago who swore like a sailor. Some people were shocked; I thought she was fun. However, I had a female colleague later who was as elegant as Grace Kelly. She never raised her voice. But, in meetings, if our boss said something too idiotic, she would sit there, stone-faced, and snap her pencil in two. The shocking crack spoke louder and more eloquently than any swear words or protestations. The boss would find a way to back down. She never wasted her ammo on small issues, but when she used it, it was 100% effective.

  • Val April, 22 2013, 12:16 / Reply

    Really, Garance?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No Really???!!

  • A story about you April, 22 2013, 12:20 / Reply

    Hello!

    Moi je trouve ça drôle quand on le dit en français à une de ses copines mais je ne dirai pas “salope” comme ça. Bizarrement on use et on joue plus facilement avec les mots de la langue anglaise, ça détend, ce qu’on ne le ferai jamais avec notre langue française, on la garde pour nos grand discours…

  • hannah April, 22 2013, 12:21 / Reply

    first of all, i had never heard of thug kitchen, so thank you for that!

    i am a feminist and i swear all the time. i feel that the word itself is not the issue, it’s your intent. so be merry, not malicious, and swear the fuck away!

    X H

    http://www.thefashionhash.com

  • Alice April, 22 2013, 12:27 / Reply

    Shut the fuck up!

  • Laura April, 22 2013, 12:29 / Reply

    Hello Garance,
    En tant que prof de français, je suis évidemment peu partisane des jurons et surtout de leur banalisation (que reste-t-il de leur pouvoir choquant ou corrosif?)…Mais c’est surtout les insultes “sexuées” qui me choquent, surtout quand elles s’échangent entre filles ou femmes et qu’elles semblent relever de la camaraderie. Je préfère cent fois un très vulgaire “mais fais chier bordel de merde” bien agressif quand c’est d’à propos ( interpellation du conjoint, d’un meuble Ikea ou de tout autre élément récalcitrant occasionnel) au soit-disant anodin “fais pas ta …” échangé entre filles décomplexées et souriantes…Pour moi on atteint là au comble de l’aliénation (dans la même veine que les cours de pole dance ou l’épilation intégrale…Qui, mais qui, a fait d’un fantasme macho bas de gamme la réalité de la femme contemporaine et soi-disant indépendante?)…

  • Nathalie April, 22 2013, 12:29

    Voilà une explication éclairée, dans laquelle je me reconnais ! :) Je suis tellement fatiguée ce soir que je ne parviens pas à rassembler mes idées de façon claire et posée.

    Nathalie

  • flor April, 22 2013, 12:39 / Reply

    what does he hat say???

  • Racheljoy April, 22 2013, 12:40 / Reply

    Every body swears here and there, but I feel as though calling each other “Sluts” and “Whores” and “Bitches” makes it completely OK for men to label us alike. Maybe on a more deeper level though.

  • Kristen May April, 22 2013, 12:40 / Reply

    Let’s FUCK SH!T UP!!!

  • mlab April, 22 2013, 12:47 / Reply

    AHAHAHA nan mais ouais putain! C’est horrible, moi aussi j’ai cette manie de jurer tout le temps, et depuis enfant. Quand j’avais dans les 7/8 ans, je disais tellement “putain” (tu vois, j’en ai même placé instinctivement un au début de ce commentaire (du coup je l’ai laissé)) que mes parents avaient fait une tirelire dans laquelle je devait mettre une pièce de 10 centimes (encore en francs évidemment!) à chaque fois que je prononçais le mot “P”, je peux te dire que je n’ai jamais eu beaucoup d’argent de poche de côté… Le pire c’est que ça me poursuit encore à l’âge adulte et que maintenant que j’enseigne à la fac il faut que je fasse légèrement attention au langage que j’utilise devant mes étudiants, même si j’ai déjà été grillée magistralement. Pour la petite anecdote, une fois le vidéo projecteur tombe en rade en plein cours, je m’exclame : “Et merde!”. Tout de suite consciente de ce que je viens de dire devant une assemblée, je me rattrape en jetant un “Oh putain pardon”… Voilà, c’est tout moi.

  • deryik April, 22 2013, 12:50 / Reply

    I think it has a point of standing against the almost Victorian stereotype of “real ladies don’t swear” cliché, in a way “reclaiming” what a woman could say and shouldn’t say. I choose my own words, not the society. Viva la feminism! That being said, almost all swear words target women, or women that men are in relation with (mothers, wives etc), so women end up swearing at women. Is there even an equivalent of “bitch” for men? I don’t think so, but there we have bitch AND slut AND whore etc. And that goes for many languages, not only English. In fact, I don’t speak French and my francophone sister once told me to reply anything with “putain” and I’d be OK to communicate in Paris. :)

    There are not so many women-friendly (is that even possible?) swear words and so in return, we borrow them from men. I think that’s why it makes us feel contradicting: we want to swear and we end up sounding like swearing men, not like swearing women. I think the ultimate utopia on the topic would be gender-neutral/ sensitive swear words (like shit) or equal number of swears for both genders. But then, it would kill all the fun. swearing doesn’t have to be politically correct. It’s against its nature.

  • Iris in London April, 22 2013, 12:52 / Reply

    Et bien moi en 2013 j’ai décidé d’arrêter de jurer! En cercle très privé, ça m’amuse beaucoup d’utiliser les insultes les plus vulgaires possible mais je me suis rendue compte que quand je croise quelqu’un pour la première fois et qu’il y avait un peu trop de jurons dans ses phrases, j’ai un à priori très négatif sur la personne. En plus en vivant à l’étranger je ne perçois pas toujours la vulgarité exacte d’une expression alors je préfère m’abstenir! :)

  • Dieuwertje April, 22 2013, 12:52 / Reply

    I’m with you Garance! Love swearing!
    It’s not so feminine, but it’s cheeky and therefore I FUCKING LOVE IT!
    Hell yeah! ;-)
    xoxo Dieuwertje

  • Kate April, 22 2013, 12:55 / Reply

    Bitch is tough for me — I’m OK with female friends calling each other that in a friendly, fun way, but it’s hard to explain to your boyfriend/male friend why you get to use it but he can’t. And I am DEFINITELY not OK with men calling women bitches in any context, though particularly as an insult. It’s dehumanizing in a way that calling your miserable coworker (of any gender) an asshole or a little shit isn’t. I try to avoid using it just to avoid having a converation about hypocracy/provide a good example, but sometimes “You hot bitch!” is just so satisfying to say when your friend shows up looking amazing.

  • write.to.pea@gmail.com April, 22 2013, 1:05 / Reply

    Timing is everything, otherwise you sound like an ignorant asshole. (And I’m not being ironic.)

  • Tuba April, 22 2013, 1:25 / Reply

    Vous viendrez-t-il à l’idée de traiter vos amies de “salopes” en français? Je ne pense pas. Pourquoi donc le fait-on dans une autre langue? L’usage de l’anglais ne nous protège d’être vulgaire, fort heureusement!

    Ce n’est pas là un commentaire moralisateur à deux balles, j’ai juste remarquée que nous sommes hyper relax sur les jurons en anglais, mais je ne connais pas la raison du pourquoi. What is fucking wrong with us?

  • Lauren April, 22 2013, 1:39 / Reply

    Yes, Garance, I had these amazing shoes I bought in Spain circa 2001 from Miss Sixty. They had a print all over that said “Call me a bitch again and I’ll pee on your leg.” They were AMAZING and I felt so empowered by them.

  • moon April, 22 2013, 1:47 / Reply

    les mots ont un sens et parfois bcp de pouvoir donc il faut les choisir avec parcimonie :)

    http://lanoura.blogspot.fr

  • Theresa April, 22 2013, 1:47 / Reply

    I say “fuck” often–similar to the way I use the word “like.” I’m fine with it, and to be honest, I’m a little suspicious of those who never use crass language in a casual manner. When a co-worker uses the f-word around me, I feel like we are “cool.”

    That being said, sometimes I do feel like it confines my vocabulary a bit. There are other more interesting ways to describe things instead of saying “That’s the shit!” And when I catch myself saying those sort of words around kids, I feel terrible! What to do, what to do…

    And if I call a girlfriend “bitch,” I make sure to pronounce it “betch.”

    xoxo

  • Toscane April, 22 2013, 1:47 / Reply

    Je n’ai pas tout lu, donc je ne sais pas si ça a été cité, mais les 20/30 ans autour de moi se traitent souvent de “Morues”.. genre …..Salut les morues !!! C’est moyen tout de même….

  • Could shoulda woulda April, 22 2013, 1:48 / Reply

    Apparently it has been proven scientifically that if you swear after you hit yourself and bump into something that the pain diminishes a lot quicker than if you try and be polite and say nothing…

  • Amy April, 22 2013, 1:48 / Reply

    Hi Garance,

    This one is kind of tricky to get my head around.. but I think Tina Fey in Mean Girls puts it into a fairly good context, ‘Stop calling each other bitches and whores. Because then it just makes it ok for men to call us bitches and whores.’ It is kind of tricking ourselves into thinking that if we play along with the ‘joke’, it isn’t offensive anymore, it’s just a joke. I think it happens a lot when you hear or say something that makes you laugh but still gives you a feeling of unease, but you can’t quite put your finger on why… I think it is because we know that there is still an undercurrent of sexism in our lives, but it is so sly, we don’t quite know how to deal with it. But if we start to do things like make calling each other bitch and whore a joke, then it undermines our efforts to stop men calling us bitch and whore to put us down and judge our behaviour on a double standard.

    I recently read this article on Benevolent Sexism that I thought was really interesting

    http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/psysociety/2013/04/02/benevolent-sexism/

    As always, you are awesome!

    Amy xxx

  • Ula April, 22 2013, 1:52 / Reply

    You should come to Poland and see how many swears we have ;)

  • roelien April, 22 2013, 1:55 / Reply

    i don’t like so-called explicit language when all it does is get in the way of eloquency. ‘fuck’ has somehow turned into the macdonalds of language!

  • Gigi April, 22 2013, 2:01 / Reply

    P****! Bordel de m****! F**k! … Sont à peu près les jurons que je sors le plus régulièrement, et plus je suis fatiguée plus j’en dis! En ce moment ça fuse! Ahah …

    La première fois que j’ai entendu “bicth” c’était il y a quinze ans quand j’écoutais mes premiers disques de rap, …Avec un bitch à chaque fin de phrase je ne pouvais pas y échapper, mais le contexte misogyne, m’a un peu refoidie jen’ai donc jamais vraiment intégré ce juron. Pour moi “bitch” s’est banalisé grâce ou à cause du rap, bien avant Beyoncé, dans les années 90, la rappeuse Lil’ Kim qui s’était auto proclamée “Queen Bitch” l’avait largement popularisée :)

  • Vintage hype April, 22 2013, 2:08 / Reply

    J’utilise le verbe (oui le verbe) “bitcher”, et l’adjectif “bitchy”, mais pas vraiment le mot “bitch” en lui-même que je trouve un peu … violent.

  • princessglee April, 22 2013, 2:08

    Je suis d’accord à 100 %. Merci.

  • Ana April, 22 2013, 2:14 / Reply

    I’m left wondering if you use the same kind of words in french too. Because I find it extremely easy to swear in english although I seldom do it in my maternal language…
    ***

  • Aurélie April, 22 2013, 2:16 / Reply

    C’est triste de voir à quel point jurer facilite la “communication” pour certains. Je ne suis pas contre les cuss words (à bon escient ça détonne!) mais la langue est assez riche pour s’exprimer avec des mots qui ont du sens et surtout qui donnent du sens.

  • frout April, 22 2013, 2:17 / Reply

    Alors ici sur la planete corse, c’est l’appelation “fraté” qui s’est democratisé, à la base c’est un truc de mec ( en traduction litterale c’est frere) c’est un peu le “bro ” local, mon frere, mon poto , mon fraté, mais depuis que des filles commencent a l’utiliser entre elles pour s’interpeller, Ouch, ca ne le fait carrement plus du tout !

  • mph April, 22 2013, 2:17 / Reply

    Wow, what a doozie!
    Sorry, nothing like having kids to make you more aware of your language – what it means and presents. So Garance, this is what i say to my girl:
    Language is powerful – swear words even more so because they are intended to be. Know what you say and say what you mean. Because if it offends someone (‘cuz someone always is), you better be ready to defend yourself.

    (Btw, i don’t believe the shit about reclaiming a word to take away its original outrage – most ppl never do use it in a “positive” or “empowering” way. It empowers one by making others her bitches:)

  • Francesca April, 22 2013, 2:17 / Reply

    Personally I think it’s crass and low class. Don’t get me wrong, I consider myself a feminist and modern gal, but to speak in vulgarities just brings all of us down. Our society is vulgar enough as is; no need to add to it. Why not speak in articulate language and if you must, in witty putdowns (a la Winston Churchill & Lauren Bacall?) without stooping to profanity?

  • Estefy April, 22 2013, 2:18 / Reply

    In my country it is very common to say some funny words like “weon” is friend for some people but in other context is stupid
    I’m not familiar yet with too many words because i used to avoid them, but now that i live in the capital city is hard to not said any of these words.

  • Susana April, 22 2013, 2:30 / Reply

    I love this blog but I have to say today’s post was over the top. Disappointed!

  • anonnymous April, 22 2013, 2:30

    Oh SHUT THE FRONT DOOR.

  • Justine April, 22 2013, 2:37 / Reply

    RoOH ! ! ! va te laver la bouche au savon ….. ce serait ça la conclusion dans mon open sapce.

    http://urbanjustine.blogspot.fr/

  • lorene April, 22 2013, 2:40 / Reply

    Using the word bitch is never ok, and so is cunt, etc. Its never cool to reinforce patriarchy and cliches. I swear a lot (fucking, fuck,etc.) but bitch is crossing the line. The mainstream is crazy about jay-z but i wonder, do you really listen and understand the lyrics? jay-z mentioned once that having a baby girl made him realise things and he is not going to say bitch ever again. As if you needed to have a baby to open your eyes. This language is degradating and its dangerous to make it sound banal, disconnecting your actions from their consequences (reinforcing patriarchy, creating this dichotomy between a good girl and a dirty slut, etc.)

  • princessglee April, 22 2013, 2:40

    I agree 100%. Thank you

  • Pouffina April, 22 2013, 2:45 / Reply

    Je ne jure jamais… et ça me gonfle que les gens disent des vulgarités pour avoir l’air “cool”…!
    Je dis tout au plus “Pouffina” pour “pute” genre : “j’ai mis mes chaussures/ma mini-jupe de pouffina”, “qui ça ?? Ah oui, la pouffina tu veux dire?!”.

  • Virgule April, 22 2013, 2:51 / Reply

    Alors ok pour les merdes, les putains et les fais chier mais franchement, les “bitch” cela me dépassent. C’est trop, trop vulgaire mais vraiment… Puis, on est à mort dans la caricature du hip hop : faut être une chienne fatale pour rouler son zouk dans un clip :-)

    Je suis vieux jeux mais j’assume. Bitch, ça craint du boudin…

    Remarque, il fût un temps ou le mot putain, surtout sortant de la bouche d’une femme, devait vraiment faire outrage à l’élégance féminine.

    Maintenant, de nos jours,… :-)

  • princessglee April, 22 2013, 2:55 / Reply

    Profanity is classless. With rap–profanity is a part of the play of the language, the shock value and the macho posturing. I think if you want to be classless or rap, have at it.

  • christine Z.C April, 22 2013, 2:57 / Reply

    Peut être parce que je fais un boulot “d’homme” ,et bien que l’”on me croyait une jeune fille distinguée “entre temps devenue une femme blette ,je suis très grossière et polyglotte entre les “putain bordel cul d’enfoiré des 2 que je n’ai pas” ,les “smeerlap”;les “zaboromouck ” (ntm en arabe) et les vafancul ” ,fuck ou soon of a bitch ,..ça me vient comme ça..Tous des fils de pute et des enfoirés..Mais il faut que je fasse attention car mes petits enfants répètent “after me”

  • Eva April, 22 2013, 2:59 / Reply

    I should be way more careful! Sometimes I say the wrong words in the wrong company and this gives a weird situation I rather avoid…xx

    http://www.creativityandchocolate.com

  • Jessica April, 22 2013, 3:00 / Reply

    J’emploie aussi pas mal de jurons, les “putain” se perdent d’ailleurs au milieu de phrases plutôt anodines… C’est vraiment devenu un automatisme !

    Pourtant tout ce qui est “pute” “bitch” et compagnie je suis moins fan. Un peu trop vulgaire certainement pour nous les femmes. Parce que bon, une fille qui dit “pute” à la moindre occasion c’est bof non ?!

    xx.

  • Maura April, 22 2013, 3:00 / Reply

    I used to.
    Then I became mother and started to swear softly (which actually seems an oximoron and maybe it is).
    When my second daughter was born I gave up completely.
    Mm. Anyway I admit I love to sketch in the worst way the client I’ve just spoken with at the telephone. It’s somehow cathartic.
    Yeah. That’s the point. Is there anything more liberating?

    M.

  • Une petite Bruxelloise April, 22 2013, 3:05 / Reply

    It’s always easier for me to swear in English, words don’t seem to have as a strong and harsh feeling as in my mother tongue…e.g. I can see “cunt” all day long, but I’ve only said the world in my mother tongue 2-3 times during my whole life!I guess swearing liberates part of ourselves and gets our anger levels a little lower, as long as it does not become a habit, ’cause there’s nothing more annoying that people swearing just for the sake of being provocative…

  • eva April, 22 2013, 3:07 / Reply

    cursing in a foreign language is always dangerous! but i feel comfortable enough with english to use curse words, but it seems to depend on what kind of english speaking person you talk to!
    In my personal experience, irish shock me how much they fucking often use fuck, bitch and anything like that. In england, I feel it is more the bloody, not fuck and pain in the neck instead of pain in the ass. of course, some people use cunt and bitch, but it is considered vulgar. The indian english speaking people and the south african ones are I think like the english. the australians, nz and US are more relaxed, I have the feeling, but only with friends, NOT at work, unless you are the boss ;) Since I am not a native speaker, I wait and see how the other person uses it, and I try to adapt :)

    but I refuse to call myself a bitch, or another girl, no. also not dude or awesome, same thing, it’s odd. And from the feminism point of view- calling a normal behaving girl a bitch? maybe as a rhetorical extrapolation. but finally we arrive at a normal free behavior and are excusing it half as yeah I know i am a bitch, what can I do. maybe not so smart.

  • Ashley R April, 22 2013, 3:07 / Reply

    I tend to be careful with my words, but less so when I am with my friends. It all depends on how comfortable I get with people I am talking to and how laidback it is.

  • Anni April, 22 2013, 3:12 / Reply

    I agree with the person who said a bitch is a female dog, not a woman.
    Swearing per se is not that catastrophic, though I rarely do it. But seriously, bitch? I shudder at the thought that this is the world we live in now. Cos there’s nothing you can do when the masses start following swishy haired celebrities, and think that the sun shines out of their a***es.

  • San April, 22 2013, 3:21 / Reply

    Je suis d’accord avec celles qui disent que si on se qualifie de “bitches” entre filles, ça donne un prétexte facile aux abrutis qui parlent mal aux femmes, et sans humour ni second degré.
    D’ailleurs, même Jay Z a décidé de rayer le mot de son vocabulaire depuis qu’il a une fille :
    http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/jay-z-blue-ivy-carter-beyonce-bitch-raps-282546
    Y a tellement d’autres mots qu’on peut utiliser comme termes d’affection cools ou drôles !

  • Noemi April, 22 2013, 3:40 / Reply

    I use swear words, honestly, even if I’m not particularly proud. But I think I would never call a friend of mine bitch. Yes, it became a common word, but I don’t think I would like to be called this way, and honestly, I don’t consider Beyoncé or Kanye West an example of style…
    http://www.webelieveinstyle.net

  • j April, 22 2013, 3:45 / Reply

    Garance, you are usually so right on it but not this time. What, is it supposed to shock? These days? Come on. Adolescent. Is it a comment on society? Is it witty? Playful? Adds something to the discourse? None of those things. Talk about crass, coarse, declining standards, lowest common denominator and the long, slow slide into total lack of respect for yourself and others, swearing is it. An emphatic exclamation on occasion, no problem, but in everyday discourse all the time, no thank you.

  • FW April, 22 2013, 3:53 / Reply

    Garance t’ecoute du hip-hop ?!! alors là j’aurais pas dit !! d’ailleurs à ce sujet, tu ne nous as jamais (sauf erreur de ma part) parlé de musique ! il est grand temps de lever le voile et de nous faire partager tout ça !!

  • tripstreasures April, 22 2013, 3:54 / Reply

    I guess these words aren’t as bad as they used to be anymore, but I still rarely use them myself and personally I think they are nicer terms to print on fashion items

    http://www.tripsandtreasures.net
    new outfit post

  • Samantha April, 22 2013, 4:01 / Reply

    Garance, if we lived in a world where women were treated with the respect we deserve and where women were recognised as the equals we should be, then using an abusive term like this would be amusing.

    But it isn’t. It’s demeaning. Cherish your sisters and continue to use words of kindness and humour.

  • Madara April, 22 2013, 4:05 / Reply

    I am kind of a tomboy. I grew up with boys so I kind of get used to now and then saying words like fuck and shit. Kind of comes out naturally now. But frankly I don’t feel too comfortable with word bitch… really don’t enjoy anyone calling me so.

    I remember some while ago when another time word shit came out of my mouth… I told myself: Madara, you are a girl! (And then suddenly I am like) Shut the fuck up!

    My friend standing next to me just started laughing so hard telling me… yeah, Madara, real girl hahahaha…. real girl!

    http://www.madarafreimane.com

  • Debbie April, 22 2013, 4:07 / Reply

    It depends on the context. A good friend should realize that when you say “how’s it going Bitch?” that it’s playful. Once though it backfired on me when I said “Hi Bitch” to a more neurotic (now I know) acquaintance and was then literally kicked out the door with her screaming at me. What?? Next time I see her when I say “hello bitch” I’ll really mean it. Other than that sometimes nothing beats the “F” (see I don’t really swear) word when you’re really ANGRY (no anger management classes so far). xo

    blog: http://www.intrigueimports.wordpress.com
    Today: Scene in the City – Up in Smoke!
    RE: 4/20 Vancouver & our great culture.

  • Heather P. April, 22 2013, 4:07 / Reply

    It’s all about context, bitches!

    I’m a college instructor, and obviously I don’t talk like that when I’m at work out of respect for students who aren’t okay with the foul language. It doesn’t mean that I stay awake at night fretting over the fact that I let slip a “shit” or two in class that day – it just means that I tone it down a bit.

    Although, I have to say it was a lot of fun to help a student a few weeks ago who is learning English for the first time learn all the different meanings of the word bitch (she honestly didn’t have a clue whether it was a good or bad word). I made her classmates help, and it was interesting to see how that word still has a strong negative stigma for some people, and how others shrug it off as barely a swear word.

    I guess it honestly comes down to who you’re talking to. If your friends are okay with it, and understand what you mean, then who cares if it’s a slight on our feminist sensibilities? I think that it’s not something people should be getting into fights, debating endlessly online, or losing sleep over – save that anger and drive for things like fixing unequal wages, reproductive rights, and world peace. :-)

    On that note, I hope all you bitches (and non-bitches) out there have a wonderful day!

  • Ylan April, 22 2013, 4:25 / Reply

    I like to use the term only when really needed. other than that, I try to get creative and think of all the other words I have at my disposal that can build up my friends and make them laugh.

    To be sure, there is a time and a fun place where you do just need to tell it like it is, and there is no other word for it then “bitch”

    But the term isn’t a term of respect. There’s sarcasm and a long history of criticism and putting down of women with that word.

    Thanks for this post. Made me think. :]]

  • annaqs April, 22 2013, 4:27 / Reply

    It’s so easy to swear in english, but try swearing in your mother tongue (mine is polish). Suddenly a curse bears completely different weight, words evoke not only images but also feelings, memories…..

    When I hear people swearing in polish, I don’t like it and I often find it offensive. I also think that when I swear in english so easily, there are people, whose mother tongue is english, and all the cursing might sound a bit different and more offensive to them than to us.

  • @thehappieannie April, 22 2013, 4:29 / Reply

    never. very tacky. I cringe every time I hear this. a good reason not to jump on every trend.

  • Chloé April, 22 2013, 4:38 / Reply

    Try “Whoopsidaisies!” that’s funnier than Shit

  • Bettye April, 22 2013, 4:49 / Reply

    Dearest Garance: You are such an intelligent, talented, beautiful woman, with SO very much to offer. But using such ugly, demeaning language — what positives does it add to our culture? To our conversations?? I vote no on this.

    Love your blog, look forward to it every day. Keep up the wonderful work. xo

  • Gabrielle April, 22 2013, 5:02 / Reply

    Merde : carrément!
    Putain : je l’emploie tout le temps mais dernièrement, je me suis rendue compte que c’était vraiment pas cool comme mot. Simplement parce qu’on l’associe à quelque chose de négatif et que la condition de prostituée est tellement hardcore que je ne crois pas qu’elles aient besoin que le nom de leur métier soit systématiquement associé à tout ce qui peut être relou. C’est une question de respect.
    Bitch : c’est pour moi une manière de banaliser le fait que les femmes soient des putes. Les mots ont une importance énorme parce que ce sont eux qui façonnent notre manière de voir la réalité.

  • Kim M. April, 22 2013, 5:05 / Reply

    I’m kind of glad you brought this up Garance…

    I think it’s a cycle, the more we as push the edge and “beatch” becomes “bitch,” the more our culture becomes desensitized. So the more culture (shows like “Girls” and rappers & singers alike) catches onto this progression, we become even more desensitized.

    Doesn’t culture propel us as normal women & don’t normal women propel culture? So I think it goes hand in hand. I think we want to push the boundaries all the time, push the boundaries for voting, equal wages, equal voices in the workplace, but aren’t there are some boundaries that need to stay up/ stay strong? And don’t things get crazy & kind of inhumane & messed up if there aren’t?

    I understand if “bitch” is a word like “nigga,” a word that used to have only negative connotations until the people who were called them turned that word into a word of tongue-in-cheek owning, empowerment & reclaiming for themselves.

    If this is the case, then women using “bitch,” a word that has mostly negative connotations, to use it for their own empowerment & reclaiming & tongue-in-cheek owning would make sense.

    But I have a hard time using it, no matter how often I hear it and hear other women around me say it. I have a hard time imagining myself use it because frankly, words do matter, and they do give or take away power, and it’s hard to say right at this moment what the word “bitch” is doing for us as women, and the disconnect between the word “bitch” in men’s mouths from their view of women, or “bitches,” in their minds.

  • CREEZY April, 22 2013, 5:17 / Reply

    Quand je suis vraiment en colère je me défoule en disant à voix haute mais seule (ainsi personne ne peut me dire que je suis trop grossière) : “putain de bordel de merde, fait chier !!!” et après ça va mieux …;-)
    Veuillez m’excuser de vous l’avoir écrit…;-))) – je suis du Sud de la France…

  • Mary April, 22 2013, 5:24 / Reply

    I thought this was a really good point to bring up! have you been watching Veep? I love the way they swear on that show, so creative with the combinations, and I swear more after watching it.. but I think in real life it’s not that attractive for girls to swear, (especially the bitches and ho’s stuff) and even though rap music is super cool these days and I do like it, if you wrote down the words and just read them out, you’d notice its some pretty angry and negative shit they are selling, kind of like that kid in the back of the class who didn’t do their homework and got caught with drugs.. and where is he now?? so for me i use a swear word for when I want to drop a bomb so to speak, rather than sprinkling it through conversation like i used to, because if you do that, what do you use when you really mean it?? It’s like talking with a face full of botox – I want to be able to frown for emphasis…hope that makes sense!

  • Sofia April, 22 2013, 5:29 / Reply

    Garance,I guess the reason you second guess yourself when you use the word bitch is because you have an instinct that ACTUALLY it is problematic.

    Re-appropriation and reclaiming the term bitch would be awesome but I have never really heard it reclaimed. If it was reclaimed it would have to be used in a way that it means something different and becomes empowering. If we aren’t using it in your own and empowering way (like the word queer is used positively nowadays, for example) then we are just buying into it. Yeah, and ‘ironically’ buying into it counts too.

    If people really like using the work then I guess the same rules should apply as with the N word. You can’t reclaim the term bitch unless you might stand to be called a bitch yourself! Beyonce saying bitch or Kanye saying bitch is VERY different…

  • Kate April, 22 2013, 5:52 / Reply

    New thug kitchen addict :) ,

    Kate

  • Marta April, 22 2013, 5:54 / Reply

    Let me begin by saying that I love how you introduce conversations like this Garance.
    I understand that this can be a funny thing between friends, myself being an avid curser (when situations are called for). Nonetheless, the only way I see this being a form of “re-appropriation” is if women use it amongst themselves, depending on the tone — I would definitely feel offended if a man would call me their bitch. As my ideology and media professor would say, is funny that the nascent of this term was probably due to a pimp-prostitute relationship, who was probably forced to be a drug addict. To think that later on this term became “legitimized” in our popular culture making its way into hip hop songs, and later into the mouths of young suburban high school students is mind blowing to me…
    By the way, I wrote this whilst listening to the “Play your part (Part 1)” Mashup, thought I should let you know.

    Love,

    Marta.

  • Marlene @ chocolatecookiesandcandies April, 22 2013, 6:05 / Reply

    Sure, every now and then, I cuss when I accidentally stub my toes or something similar but I can’t say I’m proud of myself. I’m more aware of it now that I have a child who emulates me in whatever I say or do. Call me conservative but I think swear words used liberally in a sentence just isn’t necessary. The words bitch, f**k or other stronger vulgarities have more serious sexual connotations which many have forgotten especially when they’re so commonly heard in music and films. I probably won’t be as bothered if I’m not a mom but it’s disturbing to hear kids as young as 6 verbalizing these words.

  • sarah April, 22 2013, 6:09 / Reply

    It’s not an attractive habit at all. When I hear women talk this way I think they must not be very well educated, since their vocabulary is limited to just a few shocking words.

  • SC April, 22 2013, 6:15 / Reply

    I think part of the pleasure of wearing in English depends on what is your first language. As a native Spanish speaker with a very creative vocabulary, I feel strange not being able to use that same vocabulary in English – so, I try to be myself as much as I can and swear as much as I want to… The English language, however, does not offer as many possibilities as other languages but I try to inject my creativity-vulgarity as much as I can. In particular, I like to say ‘balls’ a lot… The other thought that comes to my mind is my friend who is extremely proper and refined – also an ESL, she rarely ever swears so when she does, you KNOW she means it! It is hilarious when she swears in a joking way… I think this is cool as well.

  • M Ruth April, 22 2013, 6:52 / Reply

    I’m against it. Totally. I find it degrading to language itself and degrading to whomever it’s supposed to be “including” bitches, n——, c—-, f——, etc.

    Language is one of the most powerful tools humans have and language matters. Does it matter if you say “hey bitch” or “hey sweet lady”? Damn right it matters.

    My guess is that curse words give a jolt of adrenalin and we get addicted to that jolt. Have you ever tried to stop cursing? It’s super hard.

    How would you feel hearing five year olds calling each other “bitch” and “fucker?” Cute? Super fun? I don’t think it’s a good trend at all.

  • Oumnia April, 22 2013, 7:04 / Reply

    Et bien je pense que ce sont juste des mots et qu’il ne faut pas en faire tout un plat.. Si c’est la signification du mot derrière qui est si dérangeante, pourquoi dire des mots comme “haine” alors ?

  • Kristie April, 22 2013, 7:11 / Reply

    Yeah, I’ve become a little heavy-handed with the verbal bitch slap these days. I guess one could make the argument for “reclaiming” language, but something does seem a little off about it. Language is powerful.

    Coming from the south, we call all women (even sixty year olds), “girls.” I never realized there was anything amiss with this until I moved away. “Girls” seems intimate and loving to me, and “women”, well, that seems like a vast sea of mature, faceless participants in a pharmaceutical trial. But, I get it. Women=autonomy. Girls=typing pool on Mad Men.

    So, what is “bitch” saying about us at this point in time? I’d loved to hear more.

  • Chloe April, 22 2013, 7:14 / Reply

    Je trouve ça super triste d’entendre ce mot, moi, même si je dis aussi des gros mots!
    Quoi que bon, comme je suis québécoise, ce sont juste les mots d’église et que franchement, ça ne me fait pas un pli d’insulter l’Église! Par contre insulter les femmes, beurk. D’ailleurs je sourcille un peu quand j’entends “putain”, alors je dois être hyper-féminsto-sensible!
    Par contre c’est sûr qu’à force de l’entendre on se rend plus compte qu’on traite qqn de chienne, et c’est ça le pire, je pense que c’est d’autant plus insidieux…

  • nina April, 22 2013, 7:52 / Reply

    bitch, please.

  • Dottie April, 22 2013, 7:55 / Reply

    Seriously?
    I don’t think so.

  • Yasamin April, 22 2013, 7:56 / Reply

    Bitch, please.
    It’s all good. I swear constantly, and I’m also a kindergarten and first-grade teacher. I say fuck social norms (I never let my students hear me swear, of course). Language is interesting to think about.

    I remember hearing Aaron Sorkin on Fresh Air. When asked about how people often comment on his hyper intellectual script writing, he said that he writes the way he does because of the way the language sounds. For Sorkin, sound comes before meaning.

    I know for myself, it makes me laugh. Humor takes precedence over politics. I said, “Grrrrl” a lot too. I can immediately tell when I’ve said bitch to a female friend who is not cool with it. In fact, I said “something something bitch” to my sister-in-law ONCE and she said, “Never say that to me again.” Cool. Fine. To each his own.

    Joseph Campbell said “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” I use this exact quote as a justification for a lot of things in my life. Fuck it!

  • M Ruth April, 22 2013, 7:56

    You are absolutely right. Good for you. You can be who you are and say what you want, as long as you’re willing to pay the price. Sounds like you are.

    I’m just curious, if you didn’t have to worry about losing your job, say if it were your own children, would you swear around children? It’s wild. Kids pick up swear words in a nano-second. They know they are more powerful than “regular” words. I personally don’t like to hear kids swearing, but I’m curious if it bothers you.

  • arline April, 22 2013, 8:06 / Reply

    I love the word fuck. No word expresses quite the same way.

    Even kids love that word when they learn it/ My niece learned it at three, and said to my then one year old niece, “move fucker, MOVE FUCKER”, when she was in her way.

    That same niece calls the younger one, “A little piece of bitch” !! Who knows where that came from.

    My sister blames me, :) While I am flattered, it cant be my influence, as I live in another, far away state. No My mini me niece figured out how to use the words FUCK and BITCH all on her own!!!!!! hahahaha

  • Angee April, 22 2013, 8:16 / Reply

    I admit that my FAVORITE word (after “tsunami” and “Antananarivo” is FUCK. But I hate when anyone uses the word bitch. I don’t like it as a joke or serious. Fuck is not aimed at anybody in particular. It just expresses emotion, sometimes good(!) sometimes not so good. And everyone understands what you mean when you say it. Bitch is just mean. And I don’t like mean. Or bitchy.

  • Mona April, 22 2013, 8:24 / Reply

    call me old fashion but I have buried my dirty words with my teen age years(whe I was 15 I had such a joy of using the word fucking before every word, which meant that my every sentence was twise as long)…now at 27 I have to be really angry to even use the word FUCK, aw did I just said that out loud in capital lrtters? well I have to admit that after a very long first day on a job felt so write to use the F word…the good side of not using swearwords unless I hit boiling point, is that it shocks anyone, they almost wish they never see me angry, just because I am such a Zen and never use such words unless…

  • Sarka April, 22 2013, 8:50 / Reply

    I used to swear more, but I have really been trying to eliminate swearing from my daily language. It’s cheap, its vulgar, it makes one sound uneducated, and it’s just lazy. There are enough words in the English language to express oneself. Sure, if I stub my toe or bump my head I will curse until I turn blue, but conversational cursing is ugly. I feel the same way if I hear cursing in Czech or French. When I lived in the UK, every time I heard someone use c**t (apparently its normal and OK in the UK) it made me cringe, why are other words used to describe women OK? Just because Beyonce and Kanye West use bitch, it doesn’t mean its cool. Please.

  • Rebecca April, 22 2013, 8:55 / Reply

    I gave up trying to use perjoratives ironically. I just say what I mean and mean what I say. So much easier.

  • fakldfkl April, 22 2013, 8:59 / Reply

    Yes!

  • Anika Zebron April, 22 2013, 10:32 / Reply

    Who doesn’t love a well-placed, take-you-by-surprise expletive??

    For me, it’s for humor’s sake, as exemplified beautifully in the writings of so many of my favorite authors–George Spaulding, David Sedaris, Sloane Crosley. I think of it as a style technique, to be rendered with attention to timing, and yes, emotion.

    I can bop to the hip hop all day too, though the crazy language might be a little on the dense side. It’s also all about stylistics there too though; it’s a part of that culture.

    As for the “B-Word,” considering it’s reference to female dogs used for breeding…no thanks to anyone calling me that too often, but at the right time…My secret habit is calling annoying, problem guys “bitches,” because it’s always fun to emasculate them from behind my sunglasses. It’s so exhilarating.

    So yes, swearing for me falls into the category of amusement!

  • Kelly April, 22 2013, 10:53 / Reply

    It’s cheap and trendy. I’m disappointed and loose respect for a speaker as soon as I hear them swear. To me, it’s a sign of lack of self control and desperation to fit in (ironically).

    I don’t mean to offend anyone — just voicing my opinion.

  • Malibu PR Gal April, 22 2013, 11:01 / Reply

    OMG OMG OMG!!! I have the WORST sailor/potty mouth on the planet! I love that you do too!!!! RE- BLOG!!!!!

  • Ma numesc Bucuresti April, 23 2013, 12:19 / Reply

    I simply cannot picture you swearing… I do not understand people need for ”uninhibited and modern language”, as far as I am concerned I’d rather don’t swear at all, as a sign of respect for the others and for myself.

  • Saman April, 23 2013, 12:24 / Reply

    Words are just that… words. They possess only as much power as you give them. My opinion is to have fun – women can rule the world if we decided to. Men cannot survive without us. If women understood that, we could absolutely run the world, no doubt.

    love,

    your biggest fan

  • Jeanne April, 23 2013, 1:19 / Reply

    dire çà à une amie..!?….vraiment mais alors vraiment impensable pour moi.
    Du même acabit, les noms d’animaux / chienne , cochonne… j’en passe et des meilleurs… “ma puce” ..
    Sexiste, vulgaire, vraiment choquant.

  • Blaise April, 23 2013, 1:37 / Reply

    I am probably one of those who don’t curse, it’s because I don’t like being cursed at, even in a cool, random way, that’s why I don’t do or say it to others too.

  • Angela April, 23 2013, 2:20 / Reply

    Great piece! Yes I swear and reclaiming is what we are doing, however I draw the line at ‘hoe’ just can not roll that word out!

  • Maxim April, 23 2013, 2:47 / Reply

    Ce qui est marrant, c’est que je suis beaucoup moins “grossier” en anglais …. C’est vrai que le français est une langue qui s’y prête mieux je trouve. La vulgarité française est cool, la vulgarité américaine est plus universelle, plus marqué. Et c’est pas snob ce que je vais dire, mais les Français sont quand même plus sophistiqués dans la richesse de leur phrasé et de leur expressions (je ne parle pas de Jean Marie Bigard, rassure-toi).
    Sur ce, un petit exemple :
    a) You’re a Lucky Bitch
    b) T’as le cul bordé de nouilles.

    Je ne veux pas prendre parti là, mais je dois dire que les français l’emportent haut la main ! ;)
    Allez, salut !
    xx

  • soum April, 23 2013, 3:13 / Reply

    Ah Garance ! Au début, je ne voyais pas trop où ce post allait nous emmener et puis, voila, pof!, au détour d’un petit “simple petit constat de vie”, un vrai constat socio! j’adore :-)
    Pour ma part, je n’arrive pas à jurer : question d’éducation je crois !! chez moi “chier” était déjà un prétexte pour être bannie et déshéritée à vie ! :-)
    La seule fois où j’ai trouvé ça drôle, c’est dans le sketch de Jamel où il utilise l’expression “allez! fais pas ta pute!” et ça me faisait tellement rire que je le reprenais, .. mais toujours en privé, avec mes (très) proches qui me connaissent déjà! Encore un peu trop “shy” pour ne pas (encore?) avoir peur du jugement.
    Une fille qui jure, faut qu’elle est sacrément du style par ailleurs pour ne pas passer pour une poissonnière !!! ;-) (Ouf, ça va ça va, tu en as)
    Bises et bonne journée !

  • Emma Louise April, 23 2013, 3:52 / Reply

    I think it’s all about context. Post, post, Gen Y, blah blah blah…

    I swear like a trooper but I know when I need to be formal, and that includes being around my parents.

    But it is funny how certain types of swears infiltrate your social circle…

    I was doing a play in Croatia (I’m from Australia) for an international festival there – and the stage manager was Croatian. My friend was assisting him and said to him one day – “I feel like some pizza” and he laughed at her and in his very broken English said to her that in Croatian, ‘pizza’ sounds very similar to their version of the word cunt – which is Pitchka!

    So all through the tour we were “Pitchka this!” and “Pitchka that!” and upon our return to Australia it infiltrated our entire social circle like wild fire- which was hilarious! I’d hear it from people who I didn’t even know they knew and they’d say “Hey Pitchka!” and I’d lose it. We still use it.

    I have one friend I endearingly call Pitchka-face…we clearly love each other very much!!!

    And specifically in the context of driving a car I use “Fuckstick” and “Cuntbags”.

    But the swears have become so quotidian that I know I do need to consciously make the effort in formal contexts not to; or respectful ones – ie. the parents.

  • Katarzyna April, 23 2013, 3:52

    Hmm, your comment confirmed my guessing that it’s so much easier to use swear words in a foreign language. I could never use the word pitchka, because we use it in my native language as well (it’s not just croatian word) as I couldn’t say “jebi se” (pronounced “yebee se”) which means “fuck you”, but I don’t have problems using its english translation.
    Funny … It shows me that words do affect us on a deep levels, but it becomes only obvious with the use of one’s native language.

    Hope written above have some sense. :)

  • moon78 April, 23 2013, 4:48 / Reply

    Oh…je ne trouve pas ça chic en fait, du tout….après y’a le coté excitant “ce n’est pas ma langue maternelle” et du coup c’est peut-etre plus pour se donner un genre…mais c’est un peu dommage!

  • Kat April, 23 2013, 5:17 / Reply

    I swear like anything, I really enjoy using swearwords. But for some reason “bitch” – I can’t stand it when people use it. I think it’s because of all the negative connotations about females. There isn’t an equivalent male-gendered word, for example. I think this may be a US-UK difference – bitch here is used waaay too often to mean “woman who stands up for herself”. I don’t really know anyone that uses it affectionately.
    On a side note, my favourite swearword is “wankstain”.

  • Gita April, 23 2013, 5:59 / Reply

    I think we should choose out words fucking carefully. And in the meanwhile not take ourselves too seriously :).

    xx
    http://gita-oddsandends.blogspot.com/

  • Marie April, 23 2013, 6:24 / Reply

    Dear Madame Garance,
    Cette habitude, si commune soit-elle (oui oui on parle tous comme ça!) s’évapore de manière instantanée quand on a / est entourés d’enfants.
    Parce que, OH oui, ils les entendent ces mots là, et une fois qu ‘ils le répètent, eh bien ça ne sonne plus cool du tout, et on se rend compte que c’est très peu élégant. Même si ça défoule, même si on hurle fucking shit quand on se tape l’orteil au coin de la table !

    (magnifique nouvelle coupe de cheveux, by the way .. )

    Bonne journée

    Marie

  • tat April, 23 2013, 7:09 / Reply

    Merci aux femmes comme Janis Joplin, qui nous ont ouvert la voie en s’appropriant le droit de jurer comme un homme…et on peut avoir l’intelligence de paraître douce comme des agneaux (pour ne pas choquer ces messieurs le cas échéant)….girl power :)

  • Carole April, 23 2013, 7:25 / Reply

    I say F… what the F…F U …..but the truth is…..it not cool..it rather low class…but i probably wont stop lol

  • Camous April, 23 2013, 7:29 / Reply

    Mais oui Garance on est toute pareilles et comme toi parfois je me dis aussi, bon je suis pas un peu hypocrite à demander le respect quand je dis bitch ou salope pour “rires” à mes potes?
    Bon pour moins de sexisme je l’applique aux mecs aussi, vive l’égalité des sexes!

  • Esthere April, 23 2013, 7:41 / Reply

    Garance!!! Sur vogue Paris! Ah petite vilaine, tu me l’avais bien caché!

  • Olga April, 23 2013, 8:23 / Reply

    I swear! A lot! I don’t know if educated young women in professional jobs should really swear but I do. I figured it’s coz English isn’t my first language so it doesn’t feel the same as it might to a native speaker.. I would not dream of swearing in Russian which is my first language. Just sounds so rude and I know my parents would be oh so disappointed. But English is ok, I can swear all day long and they will never know. Haha.

    Do you just swear in English? Or in French too?

  • Emi Ly April, 23 2013, 8:47 / Reply

    J’entends souvent mon copain me dire: “vous les filles, de toutes façon vous êtes beaucoup plus crues que nous….” Ah bon??!!! Bon ok, j’avoue… OUI OUI OUI ET OUI !!! quand je suis avec mes potes (oui j’adore dire mes potes même quand il s’agit de nanas!) on parle “mal” du début à la fin de la soirée! je dirai même que quelque part c’est notre façon de nous détendre de toute une semaine de frustration, où, au bureau on doit être comme si ou comme ça pour certaines…
    Pour dire même si mon copain dit que nous sommes bien pires, quand je suis la seule nana avec mon copain et ses potes ça se lache!!! Je pourrais d’ailleurs faire ma vexée car ils ne se comportent comme ça qu’avec moi, car ils savent que je suis aussi crue voir pire qu’eux et du coup je suis un peu le “potos” du groupe…. Suis-je un bonhomme?? Garance HELP!!
    Emi Ly

    PS: Et pour revenir au post “pussy” je préfère aussi “chatte” et j’adore le dire! :)

  • Bronwyn April, 23 2013, 8:57 / Reply

    I love swearing – so long as I don’t over do it. I’m Australian, and it’s a definite cultural thing for us – it’s common place and part of everyday life, so we’re all quite used to it (all generations, although I’m 25, come to Aus and you will here everyone even 70 year olds swearing in public :) )

    I think most girls still know how to pick their words carefully so that they still sound feminine when they do. And it’s nice if we can reclaim some words – I think bitch is fine for us to use.

    The only time it’d never be ok was if someone used it aggressively and not in a playful tone. But then that’s not not an issue with the word, that’s an issue with the person saying it…

  • Cristiana April, 23 2013, 9:09 / Reply

    Words and names are important. Words possess their own energy that comes from all the times they have been used in their (long or brief) history. In ancient times each city used to have three names: the common name, the religious name and …a secret name. The word “bitch” has not been reclaimed and its connotations are beyond negative and sad. Beyonce, Jay-Z and Kanye West? Not exactly groundbreaking figures.

  • Lizz DeLera April, 23 2013, 9:10 / Reply

    i like swearing and do it a lot :-P Bronwyn, your comment cracked me up because i lived in Australia for a few years, and you all swear like it’s nothing! But i could never quite get over men using the “C” word as a term of affection with each other…that word is high up o the Richter scale here for us and only used in extreme descriptions, when a woman has reaaaallllly deserved to be called that ;)

    but…you know, i love dropping F bombs, all of its derivatives and saying shit and everything else under the sun, but i’m REALLY not a super big fan of us all calling each other bitches on a regular basis. i feel like it somehow de-classifies us all :) like it sounds just demeaning.

    it is really funny when gay guys say it a lot though! for some reason!

  • douce Aulait April, 23 2013, 9:57 / Reply

    Bonjour :-)
    C’est drole j’ai eu la meme reflexion il y a qq jours par rapport au mot bitch surtout que dans le milieu hip hop il est utilisé toutes les 3 secondes… Alors peut être qu’il y a une définition ou un coté mignon et affectueux que certains rappeurs anglophones sous entendent, et je dis bien certains rappeurs, mais bizarrement en tant que française je ne l’entend pas du tout… Pour moi c’est comme le mot niggaz qui n’est bien pris que lorsque c’est un noir qui le dit à un autre noir.. Je ne peux concevoir l’affection de ce mot que lorsqu’il sort de la bouche d’une copine! De femme à femme, Beyoncé ok Kanye non… Voyez ce que je veux dire?

  • Chris April, 23 2013, 9:58 / Reply

    Nope…I love swearing but can’t get down with swearing at other people. It’s just not me and never will be!

  • Bridget April, 23 2013, 10:16 / Reply

    Using foul language is understandable for teens that are rebelling against their parents, but thats it.

  • Manon April, 23 2013, 12:39 / Reply

    Heyy Garance :-))!! Les mots st super importants, je trouve ça bien que tu poses la question. Je viens juste de jurer sur mon blog, avnt de voir ta note, donc, je suis très libérée niveau langage. Ce qui compte pour moi c’est que les gens utilisent leurs propres mots, les mots qu’ils interrogent et qu’ils choisissent voire qu’ils inventent (l’inventation c’est très important et tu n’y es pas étrangère, non? ;-)) (marre des bandes d’aliénés) et qu’ils y mettent du sens!
    Voilààà!
    Bisouus

  • Vanina April, 23 2013, 12:56 / Reply

    Cool, le post! En fait, je jure aussi, j’écoute du hip hop (bcp) et je suis pour une langue décomplexée. Ca fait partie de la vie quotidienne et il y a rien de troublant. Faut juste tenir compte du contexte et des gens qui sont autour ‘;)

    http://www.styleinspiratrice.com

  • MGF April, 23 2013, 2:43 / Reply

    C’est un très bon sujet ça dites donc ;)
    En effet, si l’on trouve choquant de jurer, c’est parce que jusqu’à présent, ça a tjs été l’”apanage” des garçons, côté macho viril de sortir des “gros mots”, faut être un “gros” type qui a de la carrure pour sortir de telles choses; et qu’entendre une fille jurer c’est déplacé (plus encore qu’un garçon), on entend souvet les gens d’ailleurs s’étonner et dire “ça ne convient pas dans la bouche d’une jolie fille”. Politiquement-correct-du-jour-bonjour !
    Sauf que si les filles arrêtent de jurer c’est que c’est réservé aux garçons d’appeler les filles “bitch” et là c’est le drame selon moi. Lorsque les filles disent entre elles “bitches”, il y a une énorme prise de recul, une distance vis à vis du mot, du sens qu’il y a derrière. Entre hommes et femmes, cette distance peut être questionnée.
    C’est comme quand qq se plaint de ses propres parents, mais que dès que c’est qq d’étranger qui les attaque (SUR LE MEME SUJET), c’est juste innaceptable de les entendre dire ça.

  • alex April, 23 2013, 10:24 / Reply

    Aah! Garance! I am constantly questioning the same. Recently I read the book Female Chauvinist Pigs, and it opened my eyes to just how much we subconsciously degrade ourselves and our own sex. We are all guilty of it, even me when I playfully called my guyfriend’s dog a slut the other day or told the same guyfriend to look at how perfect my yoga instructor’s behind is! After reading this book however, I immediately am aware of how sensitive my words are. Highly recommend it! (Maybe even selfishly because I would love to hear your opinion on it after reading it). Then again, I consider myself a feminist… as I wish most women would.

  • laptitelu April, 24 2013, 12:45 / Reply

    Et bien pour moi meme si on parle anglais avec mon mec, au taf, partout ici à Shanghai… je continue à dire ” putian, merde, bordel, chier”… en francais. J’ai l’impression que c’est moins grossier que Fuck. C’est un peu debile mais c’est aussi spontané, je ne peux pas controler.
    Du coup mon mec dit ”putain” aussi maintenant… :D

  • Ciel April, 24 2013, 1:06 / Reply

    Clean and intelligent language is evidence of a bright and wholesome mind.
    There is a certain quality of respect that a person reflects of themselves and others in the language one uses.

  • Michelle April, 24 2013, 6:12 / Reply

    Since my teenage years, which were filled with swearing when I was with my friends, the amount of swearing I do has dwindled to practically nothing. I have nothing against it and I wish that I had more friends now who I could exercise what I see as my rather lovely vocabulary with. Nowadays, I only tend to swear in friendly conversation if the other person swears first and then I know they’re ok with it and won’t be offended.

    To me, words only have the meaning and importance that you give them so I’m all for people using language however they want(but maybe that’s just in an ideal world). Some words have a lot of extra social baggage attached to them though, so I also worry about the word ‘bitch’ because it has so many derogatory connotations…I’m not so sure that it will ever be ‘reclaimed’ as a positive (or at least not a negative) term.

  • Binette April, 24 2013, 1:53 / Reply

    Alors a Paris c’etait “Putain” mais depuis que je vis a NY c’est “fuck fuck fuck”, ca fait juste partit de mon langage mais a utiliser avec modération bien-sur!
    J’ecoute pas mal de hip hop un peu hardcore en ce moment, les lyrics sont tres oses et vraiment degradants pour la femme c’est clair mais je ne le prend pas vraiment au serieux vu que je ne me sens pas visee, au contraire ca me fait plutot rire ces gros durs super machos qui se la jouent lol!
    http://www.lebazhaar.com

  • Ginger April, 24 2013, 2:32 / Reply

    I’m not much for women swearing (or men, for that matter). You’re so fantastic, you can probably get away with it.

    Still, I think after a certain age, we can expand our vocabulary to be a bit more clever, instead of falling back on the shock value of swearing.

  • Anita April, 24 2013, 3:55 / Reply

    I say shit a lot – so yes, even the best of us use language we shouldn’t use, oh well : )

  • minette April, 24 2013, 5:09 / Reply

    i run around saying “garce” instead of “bitch” because no one understands it! i swear in english all the time, but love to swear in french, too. thanks to my french mom, i know a few choice swear words.

    a spanish-speaking friend of mine taught me some in spanish a few years ago – and they were so fabulous sounding! i have forgetten them, unfortunately. but they were even more pointy than the french! and so rich!

    i always think of french as more specific and pointy and accurate than english… is it just me? it just seems to paint a fuller picture.

    cheers.
    minette

  • Veronica April, 24 2013, 9:39 / Reply

    No, No bitches… sorry. There is something fundamentally wrong with girls calling each other that way…Maybe if you come from the ghetto you have earn the right to use the word without sounding totally idiotic.

  • aninalu April, 25 2013, 2:53 / Reply

    I’m not religiously against swearing. Fx is fine to say “fuck” if you hit your toe or something. But I don’t approve of calling each other names or saying stuff like “fuck you” or “shut up”, even though it’s with a smile. If somebody talked that way to me, I would feel slightly hurt.

  • JLamarca peintre April, 26 2013, 7:40 / Reply

    Je suis vite choquée ou en tout cas dérangée par les façons de parler qui me semblent vulgaires. J’essaie de prendre sur moi en me disant que c’est moi qui ai un problème. Mais j’aime tant les mots…

  • Roseanne April, 26 2013, 3:13 / Reply

    Honestly this is thought provoking Garance. Currently listening to Nicki Minaj yell and shot stupid hoe. I use the word bitch around my friends a lot but its a joke. But I think in hip-hop it comes across as vulgar but bitches refers to women in general although hip-hop could be a little harsh towards women. This is me trying to get my feminism on but yeah you get me. Hope I am making sense. lol
    http://roseanneatthecarrefour.blogspot.co.uk/

  • CELINE DONZALLAZ April, 28 2013, 11:22 / Reply

    Ce n’est pas juste une blague, derrière l’emploi de ce genre d’injures pour désigner jeunes filles et femmes, on peut reconnaître un sexisme éclairé : les femmes se mettent à parler comme une certaine catégorie d’hommes et pensent ainsi être libérées de leur statut de femmes et avoir atteint la pleine égalité, elles veulent faire comme les hommes et utilise un langage/blagues sexistes.
    Il ne faut pas oublier qu’en France une femme est violée routes les 7 minutes et que lorsqu’elle sera entendu par la Police, on lui demandera aussi comment elle était habillée.

  • CARAWELLE MARKETING April, 28 2013, 11:30 / Reply

    Je me suis rendu compte dans ma vie pro (surtout quand je suis à l’aise avec les fournisseurs ou clients, à qui j’ai confié des années de réalisations de campagnes de pub ou projets) que je commençais à jurer. Ou à deraper dans le langage. Mais finalement, les temps changent, les expressions aussi. Le tout etant de s’imposer des limites mutielles, et si le dialogue reste chatié dans sa globalité, c’est le principal, et un juron bien placé ne fait pas de mal ! Par exemple, quand des fournisseurs me disent “ça va ma chérie ?”, là ça me choque !!
    Mais y a rien de grave !
    Carawelle
    http://carawelle-marketing.com/

  • chipioupiou April, 28 2013, 12:39 / Reply

    Moi je dis “fluck”, un mélange de flûte et fuck

  • Mireille April, 29 2013, 11:12 / Reply

    Putain, Merde, fait chier….rien que de les écrire, j’en ai la chair de poule tellement c’est vulgaire….Pourtant, je dois être honnête, en cas de gros gros énervement; je les dis ce mots là, en même temps…bam! ça soulage le stress..
    je sais, ça fait cool…aussi.
    However, Je préfère m’exprimer correctement avec un vocabulaire élaboré, on peut être cinglant sans vulgarité
    et encore ça dépend de qui les dit ces mots là et comment ils sont dits…et quand…
    ça m’écorche les oreilles d’entendre “des gros mots” à tous les coins de phrases…
    je ne juge pas, j’aime pas, c’est tout. mais je ne vais pas me transformer en brigade anti gros mots pour autant.!!!
    xo xo
    Mireille

  • Kit Crane April, 29 2013, 3:12 / Reply

    Nope, it isn’t half as cool as you imagine. Cheapens and denigrates, not “reclaims”. Culture gets cruder by the day, thanks in large part to how we trash talk each other and everything around us. Words have power and presence and impact, especially those we use among people we actually like and respect. Enough already.

  • relocation moving May, 1 2013, 1:12 / Reply

    This is the right blog for anyone who wants to find out about this topic. You realize so much its almost hard to argue with you (not that I actually would want?HaHa). You definitely put a new spin on a topic thats been written about for years. Great stuff, just great!

  • Smilla May, 31 2013, 8:22 / Reply

    When used all the time, it comes off cheap (unless you’re as skilled as Malcolm Tucker but even he doesn’t use the f word all that much) and shows little imagination with the language (or music in the case of hip hop).

    When in a serious, don’t mess with me rage, it’s liberating!

In The Spotlight