I love lingerie but I am a nightmare for any lingerie salesperson because I’m so precise about cuts, fabrics, and sizes.

I expect my bra to minimize and push-up at the same time (yes, I know it’s contradictory, but it exists. I swear.) and my panties have to be as comfortable as Petit Bateau but as sexy as Agent Provocateur (that’s a little harder to find, but still out there), and everything has to be invisible under my clothes, of course…

Oh, and I’ll never wash anything by hand. Seriously now, it’s 2013.

And I forgot… I hate lingerie that’s too tight. I usually pick out one that’s one size too big which makes any lingerie specialist raise a super high brow and tell me that a bra should fit much tighter than what I like (they say that while pulling three times on the back of my bra and looking at me like I’ve just committed high bra treason ”this should be super tight on skin, you bra-fool!”).

So now you get why, for me, bra-shopping can last HOURS. If I ever ask you to go to a little bra shopping session with me, SAY NO.

I :

  • Start by spending three hours looking for my favorite models.
  • Moan cause I don’t like anything.
  • Try on each one in minimum of three sizes.
  • Laugh at the sales person when she points to a model cause, pffffff, you don’t understand, there is no way she can understand my body, no one can understand my body but me.
  • Once in the fitting room, I have a Bra Try-on Special Tee that I try under each bra to see the shape it gives to my clothes. Yep. What, you didn’t know? A misshaped bra can have you put on 3 pounds instantly!

… ETC. But if I am lucky, I am out of there two hours later, in total bliss to have found a few new best friends (yes a good bra is a girl’s best friend).

That’s it! Do you have any special bra try-on techniques or am I the only OCD crazy girl here? Where do you buy them? (Don’t tell me online, I’ll have a heart attack.)

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In the pictures are the wonderful designs of Yasmine Eslami that I shot on the beautiful Milagros a few days ago in Paris.
They’re beautiful and totally tested and approved by freako-me !!!

Click on the arrows to see more images of Yasmine’s collection…

Translation : Tim Sullivan