One of the things that hit me this year on the catwalk (do we still say that or is catwalk pretty much out?)(Okay, it’s out) was all the super deep V-necks. Like, seriously deep, deep V-necks. We’re talking belly button deep.
Okay, just to be clear… Like any other décolletage woman, I loooooove me a good V-neck.
It’s chic, sexy, and easy.
And I can imagine so well pulling a Betty Cattroux (thank you for not pointing out that I have the exact opposite frame as Betty Cattroux, yeah, I know) and swooping into some crazay partay with my shirt unbuttoned all the way down to my tuxedo pants.
The thing about it is that reality doesn’t quite agree on my vision here… BECAUSE:
- Breasts… Anything above a B cup moves around a lot.
- Shirts / slip dresses… Anything opened down to the navel moves around a lot.
- People who dance around you at a crazay partay… THEY MOVE AROUND A LOT.
And with all these moving elements, it just makes for a lot of things that can make Deep V go west.
Granted, that’s also that’s what’s so sexy about it.
Slipping? Not slipping? I know more than one who made a guy (or a girl) crazy with that very technique.
I mean, how many times have you witnessed a runaway nipple (I know, it sounds funny… Released nipple? Liberated nipple?) at a fashion show? Huh? HOW MANY? You want photos? Ohhh you pervs.
SO, any simple solutions to parading with a Deep V without airing out your areola?
(Please forgive the alterations… Blame it on the jet-lag. )
YES. There are three. It depends on your degree of Kate Uptonisation.
#1 – The bra in plain sight.
Yeah, ok, it ruins the whole Deep V thing a little. Okay, maybe completely… Maybe it looks kinda like the girl who forgot to button her shirt (that’s what Scott’s sister always says to me when I’m trying to use a Deep V to be sexy without seeming like I’m trying to be sexy = “Garance, you’re gonna want to button that button here.” “No, Lyn! You don’t get it it’s on purp… Okay, fine.”) and so with that style, you dare or you don’t.
I don’t really get a choice here (not wearing a bra would mean dancing the perpetual Kate Upton (no, please don’t ask me for the link to Terry Richardson’s video)) and so I just go for bra + Deep V. Sometimes. That is, unless Lyn is somewhere in the vicinity.
#2 – Double-sided tape.
Otherwise known as fashion tape. Yeah, all models use it! So why wouldn’t we?
It’s not bad, actually. Not only does it keep a Deep V in place, but on top of that, if you’re at a crazay partay and someone tries to cop a feel, you have them totally trapped!!! They’ll be stuck right to you until someone can help free you both. It’s pretty good self-defense if you ask me.
Maybe it’s a little less sexy if you want to, say, go all strip teasy on someone you caught at crazay partay, but as we all know, true love, like the real true stuff, doesn’t come out when you’re at the top of your game dancing at some crazay partay in a Deep V, but rather, when you’re at some corner deli wearing sweat pants with a “hipster beard” leg hair style going on. Am I right?
#3 – Wear our breasts like they did in the 80s.
I was watching Flashdance yesterday (don’t ask me why. Gotta be the jet lag) and thought to myself that yeah, in the 80s What a feeling, WE WERE SO MUCH MORE FREE WITH OUR BODY. AND A LITTLE BOOB didn’t bother anyone. What happened between then and now that made us so prude. Pffff, that’s what I wanna know.
So I guess my third solution is to just go for it. Wear your Deep V, have fun with it and deal with all the pop-outs that could happen with it.
It’s fun, and makes for some unforgettable crazay partay pics (you might even get Purple Diarrrryyysed!) and it’ll give people a lot to talk about the next day at their non-office (people at crazay partays rarely do have an office life).
If I wasn’t so Kate Uptonified, I’d definitely be donning my fair share of Deep V’s.
What about you guys? Are you FOR OR AGAINST THE DEEP V?
I shot these pictures at the Stella McCartney (Aaaaaaah love for Sam Rollison) and Hermès (Aaaaaaaaah love for Malgosia Bella) but you can see more Deep V’s here.