How do you carry your bag? Bag as clutch? Ignore the straps? Multiple cross-body mini bags? It says as much about you as, well, your actual bag does.

Season after season we are shown all of these different ways to carry your bags and after last week’s Carven show (where models were holding onto their clutches for dear life) Alex and I decided to dust off our AP Psychology notes and figure out the true meaning behind each bag carrying method…

(Disclaimer: I’m pretty sure I got a A- in AP Psych…)

1. The shlutch (shield-clutch): You are a little bit paranoid (sorry, I had to say it). You turn corners carefully and won’t watch a scary movie without the protection of a giant pillow or boyfriend to hide behind. You guard your clutch like you guard your secrets… which you definitely wish you had more of. Relax dear shlutch girl, we love you even without the drama! [Spotted at Carven.]

Chloe Fall 2014

2. The Blutch (bag as clutch): You aren’t here to conform, you’re going to carry your handbag however the h#@& you want, okay?! (Even if that means you’re lugging a duffle bag under your arm, making it nearly impossible for you to use your hands). But because you do whatever you want, you probably also have someone else doing whatever you tell them. Your assistant handles your texting, your taxi hailing and sometimes, even your waving at friends for you. [Spotted at Chloé, Céline and last season at Topshop.]

Balenciaga Fall 2014 Photo

3. The Bag Lady: You’re an intern. But not a canvas tote carrying intern, you are a seriously chic intern. You’re an intern straight off of The Hills. You’re John Galliano interning for Oscar de la Renta. You still do the job, meaning you run errands and bring back the daily coffee order but there is no way you’re going to carry all of that stuff in a fabric tote. No way! You’re sorting it all into three gorgeous handbags. And who cares if it’s not the most practical, you’re a fashion intern after all. [Spotted at Balenciaga and last season at Chanel.]

Acne Fall 2014

4. The ‘What back?’ Backpack: You are a bit of a commitment-phobe. You love a trend/accessory/color/guy in theory, but when it comes down to actually owning it, you fall a little short. That Big Mac smells like heaven, but you won’t finish the last bite, that gorgeous guy looks like heaven, but you won’t say yes when he gets down on one knee and you want to be that backpack wearing fashionista, but you’re not ready to put it on your back. Baby steps little lamb, you’ll get there. [Spotted at Acne.]

As for me, I carry my bags pretty much the way they’re supposed to be carried.

Does it mean I lack personality? Should I try wearing my clutch over my head today? That could totally be my thing !? No?

What do you think?