from the studio

How to trick people…

How to trick people…

…into Thinking You are French.

A helpful guide from Brie & Alex (with Garance as our consultant)!

1. Have unlimited wine. That way you can begin drinking at 7pm and still have wine at 4am when everyone ends up back at your place eating cheese. Note: Also have unlimited cheese.

2. Eat bread. Baguettes. Croissants. Do this without gaining a pound.

3. Name drop. If you have enough French friends that work at Purple and Saint Laurent, people will think you are French by association. Right?

4. Take two months of vacation during the year. “Hey, what’s your plan for August?”

5. Sh&%!. Shout, “Merde!” all of the time.

6. Smoke.Or don’t smoke and just say you are off la cigarette.

7. Simplify your accessories. In the fall, carry Céline. In the summer, a straw tote. At night, nothing, why would you?

8. Non? Say “non” at the end of every sentence: “These shoes, are beautiful, non?”

9. Wind & water. Blame your impossibly chic hair on nothing but the wind and the water.

10. “Oh, it’s Isabel.” Even if it isn’t, that’s what you say.


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55 comments

Add yours
  • Lnchou March, 20 2014, 4:53 / Reply

    Haha, I can see you got the comments on the parisian wind and water hair regimen :D
    PS: We also say a lot of “P*tain!”

  • andreea March, 20 2014, 4:53

    i love a good shortcut! :)

    http://littleaesthete.com

  • Marina March, 20 2014, 4:53

    Oh yes, Pu*ain est super important!!!!! Si ce mot fait parti de ton vocabulaire alors 100% french!!!

  • Solene March, 20 2014, 5:04 / Reply

    Love it ! J’adore ! Et pour les Françaises on pourrait pas avoir un “how to trick people into thinking your are from New York” ?

  • Noor March, 20 2014, 5:42 / Reply

    I just love all the topics you blog about lol.

  • Ella March, 20 2014, 5:53 / Reply

    “Oh, it’s Isabel.” Too funny! Love this post!

    xx Ella
    http://www.ellaetcetera.com

  • Marie March, 20 2014, 6:04 / Reply

    Don’t know why really, but many people associate short hair style with being french.
    There where numerous occasions when people I just met assumed that I was french – when asked why, they said “Oh, such cool haircut!”

  • Dominique March, 20 2014, 6:13 / Reply

    hahaha this post is great!

    xxxx
    http://www.dominiquecandido.com

  • Lauren Lou Bate March, 20 2014, 6:14 / Reply

    You’d say that you are off ‘les clopes’ – or, even more of late, is to smoke those God-awful electric things, in the Metro…

  • lux March, 20 2014, 6:23 / Reply

    Hilarious… and so true!Thank you for making my day, can’t stop chuckling!

  • Nico March, 20 2014, 6:43 / Reply

    Hahahaha..I’ll do it ;D

    Outfits and Spring’s trends on lowbudget-lowcost Fashion Blog

  • Albertine,NYC March, 20 2014, 6:49 / Reply

    Now trick me into wanting to do that

  • Ana March, 20 2014, 6:54 / Reply

    C’est merveileux!! Oh God, I’m Portuguese and being French or behaving like one as you define it is absolutely great! I do have lots of wine and cheeses so I think that’s a start, non? :D

  • Anne March, 20 2014, 7:06 / Reply

    When I lived in Paris I used to trick people into thinking I was at the very least not American by saying things like “Ah, bon?!” and “vachement.” Nobody thought I was French but I definitely had people thinking I was German or something.

  • paula March, 20 2014, 7:44 / Reply

    Ahh and now I’m eating cheese sandwiches at 1 am – all your fault!! ;)

  • elaine March, 20 2014, 8:27 / Reply

    So helpful and clever, non?

  • MoniqueMonica March, 20 2014, 9:09 / Reply

    All the points you made are so true… but I will just add one, always wear black or grey with your messy hair, specially in the winter, to have that je ne sais quoi!

    http://moniquemonica.wordpress.com

  • Fashion Musings Diary March, 21 2014, 1:37 / Reply

    Your posts are always brilliant and never fail to make me smile!
    http://fashionmusingsdiary.blogspot.fr

  • It's About L.A March, 21 2014, 3:06 / Reply

    Tellement d’accord avec ces point surtout pour le “Non” je l’entend à chaque fin de phrase, il y’ aussi le “genre” à chaque phrase
    L.A

  • Mafalda March, 21 2014, 3:06 / Reply

    Excellent, I love the “shout ‘merde’ all the time’” advice! You should also say ‘putain’ all the time, it’s one of our favourites! It was actually the first word one of my twin girls said (not ‘maman’ or ‘papa’, she said ‘putain’ in a loop, it was so embarassing).
    Mafalda
    http://mafaldadotzero.blogspot

  • Margot March, 21 2014, 3:09 / Reply

    I love what Anne said! If you can’t pull of tricking people into thinking you’re French, at least get German, or, if you’re not so good, Polish, or Finnish, anything!

  • The slow pace March, 21 2014, 4:11 / Reply

    I don’t like wine and I put on 5 kilos just by looking at bread. Cool. I will never trick anyone. And by the way, Alex, I forgot to tell you in your chic French hair post from the other day that I live in the most windy town of the North of Europe and I do not have chic French hair. I repeat: I do not have chic French hair. Umpf!!! Stick to your lotions and tricks,wind just only gives you headaches!
    :)
    xx,
    E.
    http://www.theslowpace.com

  • Maria March, 21 2014, 4:23 / Reply

    Hello! I’m Maria. It there a specific reason why you are trying to French-ify everything? i.e. How to trick people you are French (as if being French is something superior), How to have French-style hair, How to have French “whatever”…
    OK, France is a nice country with nice people, fashion etc, but come on, get over it!
    I fell like I’m being brain washed…

  • Georgina March, 21 2014, 4:23

    THANK YOU Maria! I feel the exact same way, the French stuff is getting repetetive. Enough already. Love everybody’s writing, but please pick a different topic!

  • Spark March, 21 2014, 4:23

    It’s Paris week on the blog. Nothing sinister.

  • Veronique March, 21 2014, 4:23 / Reply

    Cet article est tres amusant!
    http://fashion-soup.com/

  • Nakahe March, 21 2014, 4:32 / Reply

    Humm, Garance je t’aime, mais pas quand tu rends la clope “glamour” comme ça … Hey ho, la parisienne ne “clope” pas forcément hein, et Svp dissociez mode/glamour et tabac, ça changera un peu et big tobacco s’en portera pas plus mal pour autant (je vous jure). Désolée, j’ai du mal à ne pas réagir sur ce sujet ! Anyway, kisses Girls, and by the way, “Merd**” devient “punaise” ou “purée” quand des petits monstres/gremlins gravitent autour de nous ;)

  • mari March, 21 2014, 5:05 / Reply

    I must be a fake french because I don’t drink wine and I’m telling you, bread and croissants DO make me fat just by looking at them.
    Also, may I add:
    - Wear black from head to toe.
    - Make that “pffff” noise when you’re annoyed or asked a question you don’t know the answer;
    - Own about 10 pairs of black ballerina flats
    Voila, you’re french!
    Mari
    http://thegirlofthehour.com

  • cha March, 21 2014, 6:02 / Reply

    hahha top!!!! bon pour le bon exemple on passera.. mais c est tellement vrai.. et le combat éternel.. on se met àla vie saine… ou on vit juste notre vie qu on kiffe??

  • Louise March, 21 2014, 6:13 / Reply

    I am going in June – I will remember these!! : )

  • kechichian March, 21 2014, 6:14 / Reply

    Et comme sur la superbe illustration de Garance, ne vous baladez JAMAIS avec à la main un gobelet Startruc, mais asseyez vous à une terrasse pour prendre votre café (pinard, Champagne, mojito, etc…) en compagnie d’une autre parisienne (qui sera peut être comme vous originaire de Bretagne, Savoie ou autre région, parce que la vraie parisienne n’y est souvent pas née…). Et discutez beaucoup sur tout : la vie, l’Amour, les mecs, les autres filles, les expos, les fringues, les bouquins, les régimes, les salon de thés, les films; les, les les…..

  • misspimpin March, 21 2014, 7:34 / Reply

    Hi hi, très drôle
    J’ajouterais quand même, faire la gueule, avoir un air blasé ET rigoler dans la même phrase
    tout un art …

  • eveange66 March, 21 2014, 9:14 / Reply

    Pffff, encore une fois, n’importe quoi ! Merci pour ces clichés parisiano centrés planifiés pour un public anglo saxons qui boira ces paroles sans vérifier ! Tout d’abord, le point sur le vin est faux, archi faux, la consommation de vin en France a beaucoup chuté et ce depuis des années. A tout prendre, on boit presque plus de vin aux US ! Ce sont des filles qui, en tous les cas, ont des moyens qui leur permettent de porter du Céline au quotidien, quel est le pourcentage de cette “faune” ? Très réduit. Dommage que, à nouveau, Garance participes à véhiculer ce genre de stéréotypes et d’inepties sur les françaises (comprendre les parisiennes de certains quartiers bien sur, surtout pas le 18è, le 13è ou bien du côté de la Chapelle que vous ne connaissez même pas !).
    For pity’s sake american people, stop believing and reading such reducing and stupid comments regarding French and Paris, they are far from being true and do contribute to a false opinion of the French. Garance you’re becoming too cliche for your blog, did yo forget to be honest like the parisiant women you focused on yesterday or was it, again, only for your american readers?
    Cette semaine française s’achève mal, avec de nombreux articles bourrés de répétitions, de traits réducteurs vus au travers d’un prisme exagérés. Et c’est à chaque fois la même chose. Comment se targuer d’avoir une image d’une femme indépendante, talentueuse et véhiculer de telles exagérations ? J’avoue cela me dépasse et j’assiste, impuissante, à la publication régulière d’articles qui alimente le mythe de la française (lire la parisienne). Est ce Garance parce que vous avez des origines insulaires ? Je ne sais pas. Avec ce genre de classification, je trouve cela dangereux car nous voici désormais chacun dans une petite boite, avec ces généralisations. Je ne m’appesantirerais pas sur ce “film” avec Jeanne, caricaturale aussi mais bon, so french hein !

  • annabella March, 21 2014, 10:06 / Reply

    11. to each and any question by anyone any where about anything, answer ‘impossible’….firmly with a bit of annoyance in voice…..every single time.

  • Marine March, 21 2014, 10:15 / Reply

    Oui alors je suis d’accord sur tout sauf les cheveux! Mais cheveux survivent à l’eau parisienne, mais c’est un combat!! Meme si au final ils sont bien français, ils ne sont pas très copain copain avec cette foutue eau calcaire de m**de!

  • Jeannette March, 21 2014, 11:20 / Reply

    Je suis sidérée de l’absence de sympathie que dégage votre parisienne type.
    N’y a-t-il pas de parisiennes, juste cool et sympa ? Qui font attention à leurs amies plus qu’à la couleur de leurs ongles ?
    Je sais que vous êtes ici pour caricaturer, mais quand même, amis from “all over the world”, sachez le, la parisienne n’est pas qu’une morue ironique et cynique qui ne se coiffe pas les cheveux et qui se bourre la gueule dès potron-minet.

  • M March, 21 2014, 11:20 / Reply

    Yet another hilarious post – complete with a brilliant illustration, of course!
    If you want to trick people into thinking you’re British, just adopt sarcasm as your first language and only talk to strangers if it’s to discuss (i.e complain about) the weather.
    http://www.creataurus.co.uk

  • Erin March, 21 2014, 1:40 / Reply

    Hilarious! I love the illustration. Would love to purchase through your shop!

  • Cindy March, 21 2014, 4:38 / Reply

    I hate it when they say Non at every sentence. It is like they are always unsure about everything they say. Make up your mind and stick with it. I had a few accidents at work because non French people interpeted the “non” wrong.

  • Teresa March, 21 2014, 8:39 / Reply

    I love it. Specially take two months of vacation. I actually did it last year, well I actually went back home, in South America, and spent time with my mom. This year I quit my full time job and I will become a freelancer, oops, scary? yes, cool? that too!

  • Beauty Follower March, 22 2014, 3:58 / Reply

    If you adopt 1, 2, 5,6, and 9 you may look (with a little bit different attitude) like a Greek girl too lol :)

  • sasou March, 22 2014, 6:46 / Reply

    mais excellent cette revue qui me fait sourire :)

  • Annabel March, 22 2014, 11:58 / Reply

    Mouhahaha y’a tellement de vrai ! Trop drole !

  • Sandra March, 22 2014, 5:22 / Reply

    This made me giggle! I like to say “Non?” at the end of my sentences.

    Maybe I am just a tiny bit french for that, non?

    x x x

  • ApollineR March, 23 2014, 3:49 / Reply

    Bonjour Garance

    Je réagis à ta série d’article sur Paris car je ne comprends pas tous ces articles pour parler d’une parisienne imaginaire qui n’existe pas dans la réalité. Pour moi c’est comme si je lisais une série de préjugés : la parisienne boit du vin, la parisienne ne fait rien et en est fière, la parisienne porte une marinière…

    Je suis une française qui vit à l’étranger et je reçois régulièrement des réflexions pleines de préjugés sur les français. Je pense que c’est important quand on en a l’occasion de ne pas entretenir ces clichés. Toutes les parisiennes ne sont pas maigres, blanches et habillées de marques chères comme Emmanuelle Alt!

    Pourtant j’imagine que tu connais des parisiennes et que tu sais qu’il en existe de toutes sortes. Peut-être que ces articles sont du second degré mais il n’y a aucune nuance et malheureusement beaucoup de gens vont les prendre au premier degré.

  • Isa March, 23 2014, 5:28 / Reply

    Je veux aussi la version new-yorkaise !
    http://www.laparentheseenchantee.fr/

  • Vanina March, 23 2014, 6:54 / Reply

    Va falloir tester.
    C’est drôle, non? ;)

    http://www.styleinspiratrice.com

  • Hanneke March, 24 2014, 10:15 / Reply

    Don’t forget Jádore or Tres chic/cool. My favorites ;)

    xo Hanneke

    Check out my personal style blog http://www.hannekeverstegen.com

  • Anaïs March, 24 2014, 5:30 / Reply

    First of all let me start by saying that 1) I love your blog and you rock, Garance 2) this is not meant to be a rant, but I am seriously tired of the glorification of/obsession with everything that is French – particularly French women, more specifically Parisians. I have spent most of my life in Paris and the past few years in New York and I simply don’t get it. This amazingly cool French lifestyle is not an art form for heaven’s sake! I also think that what’s so often considered “French” actually more broadly applies to Europeans – simply being a bit more relaxed, trying less to live up to this insane and highly questionable ideal of the ultra-bony, overall perfect, eternally young woman that everybody in NY seems to be chasing after. In Paris (as Garance has so rightly stated before) it’s simply not desirable to be so scarily skinny and perfect all the time. Because quite frankly – that’s not what is going to make you beautiful, it actually just turns you into an annoying, superficial person and takes up way too much of your time, energy and brainpower.
    I am so endlessly fed up with the faces that most Americans make when they see slender Europeans eat carbs. Their conclusion always seems to be that there must be some kind of magic involved. I’m telling you, it’s not. It’s more about moderation and enjoying what you eat, without feeling guilty about it all the time. Which brings me to another cliché that I hate: French women too care about staying slim (not bony however)! E.g. please just open the latest issue of French Marie Claire and you’ll see tons of ads for supplements (yes, French are obsessed with supplements) that are supposed to help you “mincir” (=lose weight). We do not just eat tons and tons of croissants all the time, of course we pay attention to what we eat. But we also think that eating should be something enjoyable and much rather opt for a 300 calorie croissant than an oh-so-healthy 300 calorie, mediocre-tasting green-protein-smoothie (seriously, New Yorkers?!). Because constantly depriving yourself of delicious foods really isn’t fun. And the desperate tension that comes with a life full of deprivation and obsession about being perfect all the time to me is one of the least attractive things I know in people.
    And finally, I also think what makes French women beautiful is the simple fact that they can be proud of what they are – because being French/Parisian per se already seems to make them cool/beautiful to others. So they can be pretty relaxed about that, treasure what they have, move on to something more worthwhile and don’t have to try too hard. Growing up feeling that you are the epitome of beauty/coolness makes you feel very comfortable about yourself. I really think that’s it. That relaxed attitude of happiness and feeling comfortable in your skin, enjoying life, embracing what makes you special and maybe even feeling a little over-confident about yourself.
    So there it is: my version of the truth. Give yourself a break and just enjoy life a little, francophile New Yorkers! Skip Ballet beautiful sometimes and just sit in the sun and have a glass of wine with somebody you love, feeling grateful for what you have.

  • Katarzyna March, 24 2014, 5:30

    Amen to that! I came back to this post after a few days and so happy I stumbled across your comment!
    As a fellow European of yours I have to agree, that really most things anglosaxon people seem to glorify in French people really applyto most continental Europeans. I wouldn’t be daring enough to explain what kind of common heirloom we share on these lifestyle options, but I am just oh-so grateful that we do!
    Cheers to that!

  • Megan March, 25 2014, 6:36 / Reply

    AWESOME article! You’ve inspired me to look at Amsterdam the way you look at France/Paris >> StyleDepartment

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